A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that
the bed was nicely made, and everything picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst possible premonition, he opened the envelope with
trembling hands, the letter read:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom
and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice,
but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings,
tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In
the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy
can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Love,
Your son,
John.
P.S.
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home
