During this last week I've been doing a fair amount of thinking, some may say thats a dangerous thing lol ... but events of the past few days have just highlighted how much this site has changed.
When I originally came on here "cherry tap" days it was a social network site, in a lot of ways it has turned anti social, I realise I am going to offend some people but that's generally what happens, your not going to please everyone I've seen that already, the saying goes "your damned if you do and your damned if you dont!"
In amongst my friends and family I am blessed to have several close friends that I love dearly people like Gypsysoul, Sharon, Loey, Mike, Beth, celticrose,Chrisie I could go on but my true friends all know who they are :-) and will instantly know that this is not getting at them. Only today a friend sent me a "bling" gift and no I am not one of those beggars all the time their status says "bling me !!" but this today made me smile because the msg with it said "thank you for being a wonderful" friend:-)
I have felt very let down for several days now, and no I am not a drama queen I was accused of this only the other day but that person is well blocked, (they considered asking for advice about family stuff in mumms was drama they seriously want to swap places with me) and yes I also realise others have stress going on in their lives and friends help each other not turn on them, before all this auto 11 stuff this person that accused me of being a drama queen was my friend ... we would chat in depth, and then they got greedy and all they saw was points ...dropped off it got complicated and then I had the abuse.
I do have more things to sort out at home, Bex is in her last year at her school, alot know she has special needs she has been at her school 13 years, and will then move on to college ... naturally she is nervous, excited just as I am for her bringing up children is always rewarding but challenging, I never regretted having her but it is hard work so with all this going on she will need far more reassurance so I may not be on as much as I once was, sometimes I feel over whelmed with the social system but we have to work with them to get Bex the right care for adult life, so with the dramas on here of the last week I got really stressed and had to seriously sit back and analyse things, I cant afford to get so stressed, with caring for Bex (I suffer from depression) and it is affecting me which isnt fair to my family, but I dont want to lose my friends on here either, so I've got to balance it better.
My trust has been severely dented, I have confided alot of stuff to people, but unfortunately some of what I said in the past got forgotten and I felt hurt. My problem has always been mouth before brain as Sharon calls it :-) so I over reacted and then got in a right mess, and I feel that to stop this I may need to reduce time on here, but I shall seriously think before confiding again ... I think I can trust a handful, now and all because of events of the last week.
2 good friends of mine are also taking a fu break, (Gypsy Soul & Celticrose) and I respect their wishes (love you guys!) I'M NOT LEAVING!! (now who said damn lol!) but I am letting you all know that if I appear to have my light on that there is a chance that I am not here, especially during the day, I will probably be about more in the evening to use my 11s, to help out the Rating Revolution family, they have been very good to me! and I hope they let me stay!! :-) and also to catch up with friends:-) but there may be times when I appear to be uploading but it could be Matt or Porl doing them for me but they are usually good if someone shouts me - friends are getting use to "is it sandy or porl answering lol"
Anyway guys I've rambled on far too long ... who's asleep now :-S
And once again if I offend anyone it isnt my intention ...
Sandy xx
