1. Use it as a fancy tablecloth in your dollhouse living room.
2. Buy .3 gallons of gas.
3. Buy REO Speedwagon's The Hits at your local 7-Eleven.
4. Buy a newspaper. Make a hat out of the newspaper.
5. Hold a hooker's hand.
6. Get 30 seconds of high-resolution "full-contact" Web chat time.
7. Put it all on red.
8. Get an all-day parking pass in downtown Steubenville, Ohio.
9. Buy a new doorbell button.
10. Trade it on eBay for a different dollar.
11. Buy enough yarn to knit your hamster a beach towel.
12. Get a small bag of fortune cookies. Then brag to your friends that you have a small (bag of) fortune (cookies).
13. Make a lightweight two-inch telescope (1X powered).
14. Buy enough breadcrumbs to go for a walk in the forest and not get lost.
15. Get 100 pennies, go to a fountain, and make 100 wishes for more money.
16. Make a testicle cozy (you'll need two dollars for two cozies).
17. Scratch and win your way out of your shithole life.
18. Make a three-second phone call from a hotel room.
19. Pay off all your debts in Mexico.
20. Make some origami. Sell it for more than a dollar to some retard who likes origami.
21. Eat it. Then laugh as you shit money. (Don't eat it again.)
22. Buy a dozen used roses.
23. Fly a tiny kite.
24. Use it as homemade Q-tip.
25. Treat your girlfriend like a cheap stripper.
26. Level a wobbly table.
27. Get a black or white photo, from a picture booth.
28. Buy 20 empty aluminum cans. Fill them with urine and then sell them as cans of energy drink.
29. Leave four messages on your answering machine from a pay phone.
