Over 16,508,858 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

Second Life

I know some of you were wondering where I have gone. Well I have moved on to another program that simply blows everything else I have seen in the past 25 + years of doing compters away. That program is called second Life at www.secondlife.com. I would take the time to explain it to you but you have to experience it on your own. So I hope you will stop by and see me over there. Cheers
To every guy that says,sex can wait. To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful." To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her. To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down. To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls. To every guy that said he would die for her. To every guy that really would. To every guy that did what she wanted to do. To every guy that cried in front of her. .... To every guy that she cried in front of... To every guy that holds hands with her. To every guy that kisses her with meaning. To every guy that hugs her when she's sad. To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all. To every guy who would give their jacket up for her. To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe. To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes..... To every guy that would give his seat up... To every guy that just wants to cuddle. To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her. To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath. To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one. To every guy that believed in her dreams. To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them. To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams. To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door. To every guy that gave his heart. To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

Letter from my mom

Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down! There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Your Favorite Aunt, Mom

I Can Fly

Three guys are in a bar on the top of a cliff. The first guy says to the other guys "You know, if had just one more beer, I reckon I could fly." The second guy says "No Way!" So the first guy orders a beer and drinks it. Then all three guys walk out to the edge of the cliff. The first guy jumps off, starts falling to the ground, and then flies gracefully back to the top of the cliff. The second guy is totally amazed, so he says "You know, if I had another beer, I bet I could do that too." All three guys go into the bar, and the second guy has one more beer. After he finishes, he says "Ok, I will be able to fly now." All three of them go outside and the second guy jumps off of the cliff. He falls to the bottom, hitting the ground and dying instantly. The third guy turns to the first guy and said "You know Superman, you can be a real jerk when you drink."

The Mood

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT?" The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while." The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

The Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied

Who is really in Charge?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The asshole is usually in charge

Never question a drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon 2 % milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce A 2 lb. bag of coffee, And 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

New Weight Loss PLan

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for ROY the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No. I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both."
If I die before you wake... Back home now I know you're probably sleepin' Over here it's the middle of the day I finally found the time to write a letter Sittin' here a half a world away I heard about all them folks protestin' As if I really want this war But that don't stop me from believin' There's just some things worth fightin' for CHORUS And if I die before you wake, I pray the world will take A good look at what God's given us That we could only understand, everything is in his hands All we need is a little faith and trust I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake Tell everybody that I miss them And I can't wait to get back home But until then I'll serve my country And be proud to wear this uniform CHORUS No it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake
last post
15 years ago
posts
40
views
6,849
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0654 seconds on machine '191'.