Paris Hilton Hell...
OK, seriously...who really cares about Paris "F**kin" Hilton? Huh? Who? If you come home from work and the first thing on your mind is "The Paris Hilton Saga," then you have issues.
What the hell has Paris Hilton ever done? What are her accomplishments? What has she done to help better mankind? What college did she go to? The University of Slut & Whore?
She has done nothing. She will never do anything. She is famous because of her name...not her wealth, her name. Keep in mind, she didn't make all that money. She didn't start Hilton Hotels. She just lives off it. I can do that. Anybody can do that.
Then there's the videos. We've all seen them (don't pretend that you haven't). I've seen two of them, I don't know if there are more. One is an example of night-vision technology at it's worse. I felt like I was in Fallujah. Paris looked like a raccoon. And I've always had this fear of raccoons. I don't know why, but they scare the crap out of me. I don't trust them. They should all die.
The other video was in color. You could see Paris clearly. But she didn't even do that right. She doesn't even swallow! You're Paris Hilton, damnit!!! You have a reputation to uphold! Swallow, or get out!!!
So she was crying when she was sent back to jail. So what? There are millions and millions and millions of people worldwide who are suffering - war, hunger, disease, oppression. I turn on the news only to find that the top story is Paris Hilton crying because she has to go back to jail. WHO CARES?!?!?!? GET IT OFF MY TELEVISION!!! Don't make me watch Degrassi: The Next Generation! I'll do it. I will. I will watch it, analyze it, and bitch about how much better the original Degrassi was. I'll do it just to prove a point.
I saw some footage of Hilton leaving her home and going to the courthouse. There were photographers all over the place and surrounding the sheriff's police cruiser. Finally, the crowd parted a little and the cruiser accelerated. Yet, there were about 3 or 4 photographers running at full speed after it. Eventually, 2 or 3 said, "The hell with this. She's not that important," and stopped running. But there was this one guy who was still at full speed. This dude needs help. He needs it now.
I even heard some news chick on MSNBC, who looks like a man, compare this to the O.J. Simpson Trial. Such an idiotic comment deserves no response.
Her sister is hotter, sexier, and a hell of a lot smarter anyway.
Oh well...it's all diversions anyway. The happiest person in the world right now is George Bush...that sorry S.O.B. The dude can't even run a gas station, let alone the United States of America. He's got people jumping ship left and right. Luckily, I never got on board with that incompetent schmuck. His administration has "T-I-T-A-N-I-C" written all over it.
The guy is stupid, ya know? Luckily for him, the American media, and to a great extent the American population, is so fickle that someone the likes of Paris Hilton can stop the presses and push the real issues off the front page.
Paris Hilton and George Bush can probably relate with each other:
- They're both stupid.
- They both think that the law don't apply to them.
The Secretary of Defense has decided to replace the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Peter Pace. He then blames this decision on an assumption, rather than a fact (something this administration has made into a science),
"I concluded that because Gen. Pace has served as chairman and vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for the last six years, the focus of his confirmation process would have been on the past rather than the future," Gates said. (MSNBC)
You have concluded that, have you? WOW! Imagine that...someone being interviewed for a job where they are inquired about their previous experiences, their previous successes, and their previous failures. It's only the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the highest ranking military office in the country. It's not that big of a deal.
(Yes, that's sarcasm)
In other words, Gen. Pace didn't have a chance in hell of being confirmed so why waste the time of sending him to Capitol Hill.
A woman gets a gun, shoots her preacher husband in the back, and is sentenced to 3 years in jail but only has to serve 210 days. The lessening of the sentence, of course, being attributed to her mental instability. Where do I sign up for this? I'm mentally unstable, too. We're all mentally unstable. Let's all kill someone because we're not happy.
LeBron James owned the Detroit Pistons. However, the Spurs owned him last night. 4-16 FG? 4 points in the first half. After the Cavs beat the Pistons, people we're saying he's up there with Jordan, Magic, and Bird. You saw last night, however, why those comparisons may be a little premature. LeBron will get there eventually. I have no doubt about that. But last night just shows that LeBron is still a work in progress. And that's frightening, especially if you're on the opposing team. Because when LeBron reaches his peak, he will be absolutely unstoppable. Michael Jordan was my childhood idol. To me, he is the greatest athlete of all time. He is certainly the greatest basketball player ever. So it pains me to say that LeBron James has the capability of dwarfing Jordan. But those are some big shoes to fill. Don't get me wrong - I like LeBron. He's exactly what the NBA needs right now. A lot of people, however, find it hard to admit that their childhood idol may at some point become inferior to someone else.
Hi! I'm from the North Side of Chicago. My backyard has leaves growing on the fence. I spent over $300 million last year, and have a payroll of $100 million. My friends and I like to fight each other. Our favorite sport is baseball, but we're not very good at it...again. Who am I?
How will The Sopranos end? Two words: Tony. Suicide.
Amanda Beard in Playboy? Where can I NOT pick this up?
Now when Trish Stratus is in Playboy, let me know.
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson broke up? Well, when the hell did they get together in the first place?
Jessica, I'm in the Omaha Hilton, Room 317. Paris is "out of town," so to speak.
