Honeybadger's blog: "Theater of the Disgusting"

Hurrah! Hurrah! Well give him some hardy STDs again, hurrah! Hurrah!

Oooh!! Can it be ARMY wife day? You know, the loving, supportive woman missing her man as he is off in some hostile land daily risking his life for his country.

Except that she is being loving and supportive to everyone BUT her man, because the selfish cunt cant go more than 3 days without being the unfaithful whore that she is, taking guys out for drinks on her mans hard earned hazard pay, and then sneaking them in the house past her sleeping children to get fucked doggystyle by the guy in the bathroom while her face is bouncing around the toilet bowl, purging the too many to count jagerbombs she had earlier.

The ARMY cunt is generally a carrier of various STDs, reading like  highschool textbook complete with full color in home models, and maybe some lingering discharge still oozing from her gaping maw. If CSI ever came to this bitches house, theyd end up having to profile the last 10 years worth of soldiers on base to figure out who all has rolled around in that bitch.

So this poor fuck is writing letters home telling his woman how much he misses her and the kids, cant wait till the day he gets to stop ducking rifle and mortar rounds, and shes busy complaining about how much it sucks trying to duck the nightly facials while neglecting her kids. Sometimes the cunt is considerate enough to go to the clinic to clear up her little infections before he gets home on leave, but usually she doesnt, and our war torn hero gets treated to a dose of chlamydia, and the indignity of everyone knowing whats been going on whilst hes been away. Hopefulyl he does the right thing and kills her, but this is not always so.

If this sounds familiar, do the world a favor and drop a plugged in hair dryer in the tub as you soak in your cum bath. Thank You.

Over the course of many shifts spent in the sleaze factory known as Fubar, ive come across a great many cumdumpsters profiles and status messages wondering where all the nice guys are.  I cant help but to wonder at the inherent stupidity of these hags.

Do you really expect to attract a "nice man" when the majority of fubar has seen you drill your turned out vag 6 ways from Sunday either on cam, or in your ever so alluringly titled "Floppy Twat" NSFW album? You know that neat lil trick you do with your 12 inch black dildo with the 2 years worth of cunt crust that youre too busy begging for attention on fubar to get up and wash off? Were not attracted to the swarm of flies following The Hammer thru the air as you wave it around. Any sane person wouldnt trade a bag of shit to see your NSFW, much less spend 10 dollars on some bling credits to stare at the cluster of scars that your last herpes flare up left you with.

You want a nice guy? Letting that random stranger that you met 3 hours earlier at the bar bust in your back door real good cause you were raggin it and just couldnt let this 12 toothed treasure get away is guaranteed to find you one. Oh yea, and we love it when you tell us about those inconsiderate jerks who beat the shit out of you after finding out you slept with their brother, best friend, father, or any combination of the 3.

Oh, then theres the 5 kids, a filthy trailer that the board of health would call a hazmat team in to demolish, and that little lightbulb you smoke meth out of as your kids sleep on piles of trash.

Face it, youre not interested in a nice man unless he is well paid and looking to buy love. Afterall, you are nothing but lazy trash, and youd rather have welfare and something to complain about.

In a world made of names, one may ask, "whats in a name?" In this case, its an assload of irony. The offending party in this case is usually a woman of elephantesque proportions, who feels the need to work "lil" into her name. This is different from a man using "lil", because well, we already knew that.

Your typical "Lil" gurl, is either morbidly obese, has a bakers dozen worth of kids, or is a midget. Only one of the preceeding is appealing. Upon meating the "lil whatev" in person, one is struck by the fact that she is the size of a water buffalo, and because her arms arent long enough to reach around the fat to wash her ass, she smells like one as well. In order to properly clean one, she must be hauled on a flatbed to the nearest machine operated car wash, and dumped repeatedly on the conveyor until the machinery either gives up the ghost, or she is ejected sputtering and pink out of the car bay like some grotesque birth scene.

In the case of the "lil momma", she is surrounded by a generous, ethnically diverse, heaping of children, because she enjoys getting rammed in almost as much she enjoys getting welfare. Her ginormous, reeking cavern resembles a submarine pen, and quite possibly still carries the remains of a sailor or two, who drunkenly stumbled a little too far inside, and just like the canary in the mine, had their lives snuffed out by the hazards unseen.

So what do you do with a lil whatevah? Dont let her roll over on you, and dont let her "come hither" look fool you for anything other than what it is. Her welfare is about to run out, and she needs an extension.

Tonights installment in your shitty tailpipe is about car cunts. The car cunt is a pathetically vain creature whos entire sense of self worth is centered around what he or she feels is a hot car, and is somehow an expression of self.

Ladies first tonight, the female cunt generally can be seen posing in or around her car, her considerable bulk causing the automobile to list to one side like a freshly torpedoed destroyer. Her poses, while meant to be cute, are simply read like a road map of places where you, and most of the other guys in town are going to drill her orifices, and invariably, leave some miscroscopic evidence of themselves behind to soak into the stale, half eaten orea cookies strewn about by her kids that she hopefully remembered (not like last time) to leave at home for tonights installment of Drivin Miss Daisy.

The male car cunt is generally a much shallower version of his female counterpart, simply because he lacks the tools to fish any deeper. This cretin usually can be found posing in front of, or inside of his car, but makes sure to include the entirety of his machine in the picture because he is hoping that if youre ogling the ride, youll overlook the fact that his manhood wouldnt satisfy a guppy. He is also widely known as "the compensator", and the more impressive the whip, the smaller the package that comes with it.

He can cruise the Harlem Tunnel all day and night, but if he actually manages to get inside your tunnel before stalling out, hell give you the best 90 seconds of his life.

The car cunt is sadly an ever expanding species, and as more and more status whores are born, it seems the only way we will ever see the decline of them is in a nuclear winter.

Tonight we delve into the world of the self professed/expressed rebel. He or she is usually found around the fringes of society, ostensibly to look in on all the conformist dolts he/she despises, without realizing that he/she is the very epitome of badly cliched, anti-conformist conformism.

The rebel usually expresses himself through anti social behavior and the willingness to die an early death in accordance with some honor code that better men than himself live by, but somehow thinks that calling himself a "true up soldier" actually makes it so. What a joke, and good fucking riddance when this piece of shit removes himself from the face of the earth with his inherent stupidity.

The rebel can often be found with a generous helping of skin ink, typically making him look like the splash damage victim of an explosion at a sewage treatment plant, festooned with blueberry black, pea green, and standard brown excrement. The ink is typically shoved under the skin in a prison environment via hepatitis laden needles, but as of late the trend has made its way outside the razor wire with increasing popularity, ensuring that everyone looks like an ex con.

The ink rebel can also be identified later in life by the sheer silliness of his once character defining ink, that now marks him as an idiot with no ability to think past next week, and still retains the propensity to grind names into his skin, because he is too stupid to remember them otherwise.

The rebel is also often a fan of piercings to show off their amazing pain threshold, as well as highlighting their taste in all things tacky. The rebel typically looks like the victim of automatic B-B gun fire, with metal jutting out of every orifice, and leaving one to wonder what it would be like to string them up to an electric fence by the peircings, while standing knee keep in a mud puddle for 2 days.

The rebel is king of the fad that should have never been, and yet, he leaves his mark on other young, impressionable morons like himself, and the cycle continues, getting worse with each passing of the torch from retard to retard, each looking to push the absurd-o-meter farther into the red. Will it ever end? Probably not, but at least it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.

It seems like every day on fubar, my eyes are treated to the indignity of another shirtless moron who thinks hes pretty damn special cause he goes to the gym a couple times a week. So all day/night i have to watch these hulks of stupidity roll up my bar tab because some chick added them, and im too lazy to filter it.

What makes these fuckin meatheads think theyve all gotta default pic themselves shirtless?"Oh look at me, i dont have an ounce of brain inside my fat stupid head, i cant even spell my name correctly, and im probably a big pussy who skates by safely because i make alot of noise and hope that plus my muscles intimidates people who dont know any better."

So each and every day, I gotta watch another cookie cutter fucktard who thinks hes unique, but is really just another pathetic entree in the long list of fucktards with a shirtless default pic and maybe the word "enforcer" horridly mispelled in their name.

Really, dullards, put the shirt back on, listen to what your spell checker says, and if rhoids havent laid waste to reproductive system, go find a water buffalo to kick you square in the nuts and accomplish the same end.

Are there really that many useless tubs of shit in one place? Every time I turn around, theres a high level skank with a colored name and a status message involving bling packs and/or crushes and NSFW.

A closer look reveals a collection of illegitimate children of various ethnicities and/or daddies playing on the floor behind them, surrounded by the debris of another drunken night of cam whoring and neglect.

Is it REALLY so hard to lift your immense bulk out of youre sweat, cum, and food scrap encrusted chair every once in a while and take care of your kids, or lean against a snow shovel long enough to push the trash off of your living room floor and either down the cellar stairs, or more likely, since youre living in a filthy rodent ridden trailer, out the door and onto your front lawn?

If this is too much stress to handle in your busy fubar day, please shove a hand grenade up your cunt so you can never reproduce again.  Seriously.