"THE ZEN OF LEVELING" by ZEN MASTER LEVELER DA LOBO
In order to achieve the goal of zen master and to successfully level the "Anointed Ones" a zen leveler must placidly and silently negotiate between the bar stools and passed out drunks that lie in Fubar. To help you achieve your goal here are a few rules to remember:
1). If available, rate and comment all stash first. By the very nature of stash, the page sizes are smaller, therefore will not take as long to load as pictures will. Also the zen leveler knows that stash comments do not subtract from the dreaded photo comments total. Like the cherry blossoms that get blown away by an illegal alien with a yard blower, they too are seperate, but equal.
2). Next, rate any and all blogs. They are not worth as much as photos and stash, but the zen leveler knows, like the pimple on his butt, they are there too.
3). Having rated the stash and blogs, now the zen leveler faces the ultimate test: the dreaded photo albums. He need not fear, however, or shirk from the desired goal of leveling the Anointed One. All he need do is remember the simple rules:
a). all photos are rated 10. VIP members need not expend their precious and oh so limited 11s. A 10 will always do nicely, as gentle as the droppings a bird leaves on your shoulder. The wise zen leveler consults the Fu-Bible to ensure he knows the exact amount of photo ratings his level allows. For example, a fubar level 17 will only be allowed 1000 photo ratings, whilst a a level 21 is allowed 1500.
b). While photo comments are nice, the zen leveler wisely knows that, like the amount of sex the ZEN MASTER LEVELER gets a year, they are limited also. PHOTO COMMENTS DIFFER IN AMOUNT FROM PHOTO RATINGS. This difference can be anywhere from 300-650 depending on your level. Also photo comments do not have to be in the form of the ancient writings known as text. The wise zen leveler will have fashioned himself a 180 x 130 size copy of his FIRE/ICE tag, and, having stored such item in, perhaps, PHOTOBUCKET, uses that as his photo comments.
c). NSFW pics: the zen leveler will be at time to time confronted by the Not Safe For Work photos. These can only be accessed by adding the Anointed One to your friends list. But the zen leveler despairs not, because he knows that, unlike politicians, his F&I management has requested the Anointed One be online to help with the leveling and handle such requests. Tarry not over these lude and naughty photos. The ZEN MASTER LEVELER moves through these quickly, like a bean burrito thru his intestines, then comes back again and again for the full show!!!!
d). NSFW/Private: Very little or nothing can be done about these. These require special permission from the Anointed One. Move on from these to the next best rateable photos.
4). Finally, if the zen leveler has rated all the stash, blogs and photos in the Anointed Ones profile, and the Anointed One still has not leveled up, at least he can be rest assured he has done his job and has the justification to whine and complain about others to the ZEN MASTER LEVELER. The wise zen leveler knows, however, that like the gas bubble forming in his backside, his complaints will disappear into fubar nothingness.
The ZEN MASTER LEVELER hopes these rules of wisdom will help all those who read this text. As always, if there are any questions, please feel free to ask in the ancient ritual known as the SHOUT box, or leave your comment here. Happy Leveling!!!!! In addition, the ZEN MASTER LEVELER hopes that other great ZEN MASTER LEVERS of the FIRE & ICE family would stop by and leave their tips, comments and other words of wisdom here to help others
