Lost Angel's blog: "The world of an innocent tease"

my life has been really crazy lately..  Yes  i am a proud mother of a baby girl Named Kaylie. She is my world..   yes I am lucky I have 2 jobs.. when most people cant even get one..  Yes I am single.. and that gets lonely and hard sometimes.    Recently... I was in a relationship with a guy.. and he and I thought about getting married... and then I found out I was pregnant and he was meeting other girls and texting other girls.. (all named Jessica which was weird) so I dumped him...  So in case you didnt follow that  iam pregnant again.   THey will be 15 months apart.. How does a girl do the single mom thng workin 2 jobs..  I need to get back out on my feet.. and I just cant get my ducks in a row.   Oh while all this is going on.. Recently my daughters father (who dumped me after I got pregnant the first time) was in a coma.. and thankfully he woke up...  and my dad was diagnosed with lou gehrigs disease.  Most people who get that only live 1-5 years..  He has had for a long time.. and Tomorrow they are going to do a muscle biopsy.. to see if they can find out exactly how long he has had it.. 

yes i know I said earlier I was lucky workin 2 jobs.. Been at 1 for over 2 years.  Then the other been there for over a year.   The one I have held for 2 years I have a co worker who is emotionally abusive to a co worker and me.  He has some anger issues.. He has to wear an ankle bracelet that tracks him and monitors him because he beat his ex wife..  He has gone off on my so many times in the last six months.. I am afraid he will hit me or my co worker.. 

So yes lately I been kinda emotional.. and lately I have wanted to get drunk.. and cant and wont.. and Lately.. I just been lost and confused.. thats part of the reason why I went back to Lost angel instead of innocent tease..  I hope life has some better curves.. 

granted.. Kaylie my world.. she is 9 months old and walking. .and has an amazing smile that just brightens the world..  Sometimes I feel like  I fail her cause I am away working so hard...

 I really wanna go back to college.. quit my main job and just get a better career so later down the road I will be set.. and I can see my kids more.. 

Another kicker I know this is all over the place I make to much for government help..  when I obviously could use some help.  Why cant single parents get help.. when they have jobs.. grumbles dont get me started on that..  Iguess thats al lI need to bitch about tonight..