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What are you waiting for?
do i mean an thing in here where you left me
with the walls dissolving and reappering i can't decifer the codes on the walls
please tell me what you want i know i think that maybe you might but dont love me confused and bleeding im tired
of your decieving just leave me where you left me
and never again darken my doorstep with your perfect light
i cant be taken again by your abiltity to be perfectly
broken sweet words coating venomus
meanings you break my skin and the scralet
ribbons drip to the floor looking up
at you in a plea you laugh and turn away
am i dreaming this reality i dont know teach
me how to learn so that maybe i can be like you
taking my leave just when they totally surrender their
security im lost in this box not knowing where to go
help me.......
I'm tired of your beauty, its a stain upon my heart.
a dripping, darkened venom tearing me apart.
Tell me that you hate me i need to be set free.
Don't tell me that you love it when its just the you and me.
I need to feel the numb thats comes with, it's over i can't stay.
I need to think you hate me so the pain will go away.
You say that you do love me, but if you did
then you'd be here.
I'd be holding you with all my heart, without that constant aching fear.
So just tell me that we're over the tears don't mean
a thing just one more drop of water
to take away the sting.
I failed at constant living,
I know I'd fail a quicker death.
I failed to see the writing,
in the fog left by my breath.
I failed to see the unseen,
I failed to see the saw.
I failed to stand on my own two feet,
I even failed to fall.
I failed to know I'm failing,
I failed to gain success.
I failed to know I'm worth it,
and I failed to do my best.
I failed my every try,
before the gods above me.
But i will not fail to know the truth,
the triumph of knowing that he loves me.
I'm whispering to the darkness,
waiting for my minds embrace.
Falling into subconsciousness,
away from my disgrace.
These words are like the ghosts you left me,
swimming freely from ear to ear.
Not touching living emotions,
it's my lament you cannot hear.
Now come with me my child,
you've alot to learn,
I'll show how this hell is pain,
even without the burn.
I'll bear your soul to demons,
and return what you have wrought.
Your worthless and i love it,
it's not what you'd have thought.
You told me that heaven denied me,
and that the abyss is what whispers my name,
when the curtains flutter slightly,
beckoning me to join your game.
Rip out my eyes, and tear out my pride.
You fucked up my life, so don't waste my time.
You pushed me away, while you stood by my side,
You put this inside me, but the child is mine.
You disappeared and I reveled in silence,
because you screwed up my life with meaningless violence.
It's like your stuck in adolescence,
You played an ass, then lured me with kindness.
Now everywhere I look, you cloud my vision,
pouring salt into an open incision,
Your betrayal wasn't my decision,
yet you mock me with your constant derision.
Just back away, now that its my life,
before your heart tastes my knife,
quit stressing me with all this strife,
You know nothing of the black and white.
Your eyes shine with the stars of the broken,
where sheep lay before the lion for sacrifice,
arms reach out of the abyss to comfort you,
and your the failure of your own device,
but all in all your beauty raises hearts,
and the gods smile upon your mistakes,
for your voice is like a light to guide us,
and its all our hearts that break.
The voice of a broken butterfly.
A million miles of highway stained black by the sky's tears,
and we all sit in obscurity, sliding by with fake smiles.
Why do we expect more than we have given,
and refuse to remember the kindness in the world.
Voices raised with emotion cut deep into our hearts,
words that were meant to sting emotionally bleed us to death.
They never knew that "you can do it," sounded condescending
where there was suppose to be inspiration, and encouragement.
Line after line of emotional overcontrol, words instead of fists,
why can't the world all practice the same therapy.
Instead they, we, us, everyone just stares out a rain streaked window,
wishing for the sun in a world where the darkness is permanently
etched into our souls, no escape.
Thoughts you can't explain, and only human degrees choose to listen,
the certified insane, teaching us to be complete.
Where has our love gone, relationship out of routine, unable to be broken.
I want to stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon, and scream till
the stone walls call back, "you are not alone."
I have me, always inside my own head, please let me out.
Let me go.
Let me out.
This empty space full of thoughts and impossibilities,
I can'ts where there should be I have's.
Maternal instinct stopped short by a cruel world,
causing the minds of children to become poisoned
by a dark void where there should be love.
Maybe we are not meant to love,
to feel,
to be.
Just rats running in circles in a cage,
feigning as a vast universe full of potential.
Where are our gods, where are our hearts?
I've called out before, and my voice is losing it's power
only violence holds the truth.
Only the evil make a name.
The ones who are truly good people refuse to empty their
insecurities on others, so they draw blades across soft flesh.
They are the odd ones, the castaways, the outsiders.
The ones who choose to hurt themselves instead of others.
Please father, mother, eternal beings I am calling to you,
"Help us and free us from our prisons, and vices, free us and we will change the world for the better."
Trees cut back for room for power lines,
where technology interrupts nature.
Makes so much sense, love cut back to make room for our minds to flourish,
where knowledge interrupts feeling.
My heart speaks volumes, words never spoken, only felt,
and the verses twist on the page, chaos with an unseen pattern.
The butterfly effect.
If only I had wings, to fly far above everyone to observe instead of live among the critically analytical.
Just give me wings.
I promise to fly forever.
High above politics, and greed.
Clouds shifting into the faces of all those who have tried to live and failed.
We all fail.
There is no winning a game without rules,
through the abuse ,and famine, and disease we remain hopeful.
Hopeful for what?
The end?(.)
