Captain Cooter's blog: "Random Ramblings"

So people ask me:

LMAO @ ur status

I LOVE your status

OMG, your status rocks

TEE HEE!!


Ok, so those aren't really questions, but I know what the people are wondering. And, since I am nice and all..I'll give the people what they want: an explination.


My status began earlier today, in a mumm. Someone wrote about shoving a watermelon in someone else's pussy, which naturally begat the disbelieving disclaimer of bullshit. Then, true to form, our resident ER nurse Kit puts truth to the claim, saying you'd never believe the kinds of stuff women get caught in their meatflaps (not her wording). Apparently, women shove a whole assortment of things into their fun spots that can just be fished out without the help of the ER. So, I decided that is how I'm going to get rich. I am going to host a tv show on the Discovery Channel called "The Vagina Fisher", where I will toil endlessly, elbow deep, to dislodge  odd and foreign objects from their crevasses.

I assume rings and watches and cucumbers will be most common, but I will also work out those hard-to-get items like chiquita-banana stickers, or Washington Monument replicas, or car keys, vibrating foot massagers, wayward cell phones, game controllers, loose change, leg warmers for the more promiscuous clients...etc. And, much like Mike Rowe, I thought I might need a little help from the public to prepare me for what I might encounter.

So, what odd things have you gotten stuck in your vagina? Or, if you are shy you can claim it was someone else's vagina, or even just say it might be possible and you didn't really experience it...whatever. What items might I need to prepare myself to yoink out of a love-chasm?

<hr/>EDIT!!!

Thanks to McLovin, i realized I have to say something. I will not touch certain objects..so I will not be removing certain things, such as penises or strings from said vaginas. Thank you, please drive through to the second window