Sh0rty The Original's blog: "The Upside of Things"

As you all know, Im a soldier in the US Army and have little time before Im deployed to Iraq. I was talking to Pat M'Groin (and actually am right now) and I just wanted to send a thank you to everyone who supports the troops, Air, Army, Marines and Navy alike and all other components. If it wasnt for the support we get from you people of These United States of America, we wouldnt of volunteered to do what we do. We wouldnt want to risk our lives in order to be proud of ourselves and know we're appreciated by millions of other people around us. Even people that we will never meet. Again, this is a Soldiers thank you to the veterans and citizens for all care packages sent, all the cards, letters and personal pieces we ask for so we are less homesick while fighting a ghost enemy. Take care everyone. Love, SPC Haynes

No one will be added to the family list and Alice In Wonderland will be taking over my account using up my 11s whenever she is able to. Rule still stand that you have to have a salute to be approved as a friend and she understands that rule along with no one is added to family. Hopefully I'll be back soon safe and sound everyone. Good luck in everything you do! <3Sh0rty the Ice Cream and Jagerbomb Goddess

I got a call from MSG Reiner today around 1335 or so. It was to tell me I was put on the primary list, but not for the 28th Aviation Brigade. But for the 56th instead. I go to AT the 2-14th of September and then he said straight after I'll be considered pretty much active duty and I'll be heading off to Camp Shelby, Mississippi for pre-MOB until around Christmas. I'll come home and spend the holiday with my family and then I'll be headed off to the other side of the pond when the new year strikes. Its the 10th of August and again, this type of thing is just thrown onto me without hardly any advanced notice. I had this problem with SRP. I was told 23 hours before I was supposed to be there about it. So Im not really too happy. So there are some big changes happening with me now. Parents are moving and that means I'll be putting my stuff in storage on like the 1st of September for a year or two until I get back. Im going to have to drop my bike insurance. I dont know what Im going to be doing with my car while Im gone. Im leaving my best friend Trisha behind who I'm going to miss so freakin much. I dont even know how to put that all into words. She's the best friend anyone could ever ask for. She knows how to make you smile when you're down and understands you when no one else does. I will miss my family and hope for the best for them. Im going to hope that I come home safe and sound and everything goes alright. Im going to miss everyone that I've made connections with and all my friends no doubt. Im going to miss civilian clothes and being a normal, young woman. I dont know if what I'll see or experience over there or even while Im gone will change me. I just really hope that its not for the worst. Yes, Im crying because no matter who you are, you're always scared and apprehensive about the unknown. I dont want my parents or more importantly my mom see me cry because I know she'll be a bitch and tell me I asked for it. I wouldnt expect her to understand whats going through my head right now. But I know deep down inside she's scared of the unknown too just like I am and it'll show when Im getting on the plane for Mississippi. Im going to Iraq and although Im losing alot of things back here, Im gaining alot of experiences and life lessons that will help me on my journey. At least one good thing about going over is going to be I'll be going with Crew 13. We're going to dominate, and make Iraq fun, lift morale and try to keep smiles on everyones faces even our own. Abbie, Shawn, Lisa and I have something not everyone comes across in their lives. We're so relaxed around each other along with very open. We can laugh at each others expense and know we're just kidding. I think we all know how to see signs of stress withing each others faces and we'll all help each other out in the long run. Hopefully we're all in the same company while there. I love everyone and as soon as I get addresses, I'll post them. Hah, Im talking like I've just landed in Kuwait! Craziness!

My buddy sends stupid lil jokes to me but they're halarious... Here's two... --------------------- A banana and a vibrator was on a womans bedside table. Banana says to the vibrator, "I dont know why YOU'RE shaking, she's gonna eat ME!" ---------------------- A black baby was given wings by God. He asked God, "Does this mean Im an angel now?" God laughed and said, "Nah nigga, you a bat!" Happy Halloween!

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me." Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

A young Marine officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since his hearing wasn't impaired he remained in the Marine Corps. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three Marines, prospects for his headquarters staff. The first was an aviator Captain, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" The young officer answered, "Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears." The General got very angry at his lack of tact and threw him out. The second interview was with a logistics Lieutenant, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" He replied sheepishly, "Well, Sir, you have no ears." The General threw him out also. The third interview was with a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, an infantryman and Staff NCO. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?" To his surprise the Gunnery Sergeant said, "Yes, Sir, you wear contact lenses." The General was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant NCO, and he didn't mention my ears. "And how do you know that I wear contacts?" the General asked. "Well, Sir," the Gunny replied, "it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f****** ears."

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home, the man informs his wife of his new purchase. “Olympic condoms?”, she asks, “What makes them so special?” “There are three colors,” he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.” “What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks cheekily. “Gold of course,” says the man proudly. The wife responds, “Really, why don’t you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change.”

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today." His father replies, "What happened?" The boy says, "Well, my teacher asked me, 'What's 3 times 2', and I said '6.'" The father replies, "Well, that's correct." The boy says, "I know. Then she asked me, 'What's 2 times 3.'" The father then replies, "Well, what the fuck is the difference?" The boys says, "Well that's what I said!"

Ugly Bus A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, “Dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy it.” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “My dad’s outside.” Man: “OK, how much?” Boy: “$25.00” The next few weeks find the boy and her mother’s lover in the closet together. Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes, it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball mitt.” The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, “How much?” Boy: “$75.00” Man: “Fine.” A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” Boy: “$100.00” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church and making you confess.” They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth, then closes the door. The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”