Annelid's blog: "Ramblings,thoughts and assorted stuff"

(oh if my ex happens to read this..this is the obligatory EMO blog you were always needling me about..you know how you said i was so mopey and all. I'm glad I was able to fufill your one of your expectations).

Hi. I'm Annelid. I have literally no life whatsoever. I live vicariously through the computer. I'm self centered,depressed,full of self loathing (and cookies) and am going nowhere slowly. I fall for people who acknowledge me. 

I see things that aren't there. Meaning I take you being nice to me as a sign of perhaps she LIKES me.Sure it's lame..but it's me. I'm tired of everything...i mean....really tired. Not just physically, mentally. I'm ground down to a nub. I want out.

I can't sleep or have a coherent though in my head. I dream about what could have been or rather what should be. It's all i have is my dreams. Nothing else. The baubles.....the nice tv's , the video game systems,etc mean nothing. It's a distraction really. 

I love my cats like they were my babies. And my parents...but in a way I wish i didn't have such strong ties to them. Why? So i can disappear. I really wish i could..but i can't. 

I said before i "live" vicariously through the computer. Then I realize that my depression is probably proportional to my time spent online. I've been lied to, had my head gased up, promised , had my dreams destroyed. You've won fubar..and it's denizens. Sure I can make pithy comments, be friendly, compassionate. I'm understanding,I listen well and offer good advice..and that's it. I know my limitations. I can't compete anymore. Game over , I want off.But like a moth to a flame Or rather a idiot that likes to get beaten down constantly I keep on coming back again and again and again. And the cycle will continue ad infinitum. I'll be charming in the sb and in lounges. Never dare saying offensive. Be pleasant, do what's expected of me. I'm malliable that way.I'll say what you want me to say. Do what's expected of me. I'll be your go to guy. Your upset? Talk to me. Your significant other is hurting you...right again, i'm there. Think of me as your cyber Dr.Phil. I care cause it's what I do. 

So yes, I'll continue being here...like i normall am. Always there with a quick joke or bad pun. Ready to be your pal. Your confidante. Your proverbial big cyber should to cry on. Would you expect any less?