Over 16,508,798 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

SLOW SUICIDE!!!!! This is a semi biography Of what is happening to me Burning the candles at both ends Self destructing with fair weathered friends I don't have any more wax to burn And now I am sick, when will I learn? I smoke, I drink, I survive on an hours sleep But my soul silently weeps Doc said I'm killing myself Should be taking better care of my health I told him I am on a slow suicide And my soul and heart has already died I have no safety net And I have no regret I have free will I know what I do will kill Don't care Beware But I am not as young as I once was And I use the excuse 'becauseā€¦.' I just need a larger candle to use To burn and abuse I know it's taking its toll But I'm just out of control Don't worry Doc I took your advice I've found a new vice Don't worry about me I've given up the ecstasy Now that my health is damaged And my body ravished Fcuk self pride! My slow suicide! C

Poems

SEX!!!! ..> After the earth finally touches the sun, and the long explosion stops suddenly like a heart run down, the world might seem white and quiet to something that watches it in the sky at night, so something might feel small, and feel nearly human pain. But it won't happen again: the long nights wasted alone, what's done in doorways in the dark by the young, and what could have been for some. Think of all the lovers and the friends! Who does not gather his portion of them to himself. at least in his mind? Sex eased through everyone, even when slipping into death as into a beloved's skin, and prying out again to find the body slumped, muscles slack. and bones begun their turn to dust. Then no one minds when one lover holds another, like an unloaded sack. But the truth enters at the end of life. It enters like oxygen into every cell and the madness it feeds there in some is only a lucid metaphor for something long burned to nothing, like a star. How do you get under your desire? How do you peel away each desire like ponderous clothes, one at a time, until what's underneath is known? We knew genitals as small things and we were ashamed they led us around, even if the hill where we'd lie down was the same hill the universe unfolded upon all night, as we watched the stars, when for once our breathing seemed to blend. Each time, from that sweet pressure of hands, or the great relief of the mouth, a person can be led out of himself Isn't it lonely in the body? The myth says we ooze about as spirits until there's a body made to take us, and only flesh is created by sex. That's why we enter sex so relentlessly, toward the pleasure that comes when we push down far enough to nudge the spirit rising to release, and the pleasure is pleasure of pure spirit, for a moment all together again. So sex returns us to beginning, and we moan. Pure sex becomes specific and concrete in a caress of breast or slope of waist: it flies through itself like light, it sails on nothing like a wing, when someone's there to be touched, when there's nothing wrong. So the actual is touched in sex, like a breast through cloth: the actual rising plump and real, the mind darting about it like a tongue. This is where I wanted to be all along: up in the world, in touch with myself. . . Sex, invisible priestess of a good God, I think without you I might just spin off. I know there's no keeping you close, as you flick by underneath a sentence on a train, or transform the last thought of an old nun, or withdraw for one moment alone. Who tells you what to do or ties you down! I'd give up the rest to suck your dark lips. I'd give up the rest to fix you exact in the universe, at the wildest edge where there's no such thing as shape. What a shame I am, if reaching the right person in a dim room, sex holds itself apart from us like an angel in an afterlife, and, with the ideas no one has even dreamed, it wails its odd music for pure mind. After there's nothing, after the big blow-up of the whole shebang, what voice from what throat will tell me who I am? Each throat on which I would have quietly set my lips will be ripped like a cheap sleeve or blown apart like the stopped-up barrel of a gun. What was inside them all the time I wanted always to rest my mouth upon? I thought most everything stuck dartlike in the half-dome of my brain, and hung there like fake stars in a planetarium. It's true that things there changed into names, that even the people I loved were a bunch of signs, so I felt most often alone. This is a way to stay alive and nothing to bemoan. We know the first time we extend an arm: the body reaches so far for so long. We grow and love to grow, then stop, then lie down. I wanted to bear inside me this tender outcome. I wanted to know if it made sex happen: does it show up surely in touch and talk? does it leak from the mind, as heat from the skin? I wanted my touching intelligent, like a beautiful song. ..> 2:05 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Wednesday, February 27, 2008 The Vampire Queen The muffled sound of mans noise and an inns activity Meant that no one really paid much attention to me Me. The Dark Prince, the soul slayer I was just passing through this village, on another adventure As I peered from my black hooded cloak And puffed away on some local smoke I remember the last adventure I had just come from A quest which I wish i could belong It was about a 10-day ride from the west of this place A small town, where everyone wore a frightened face I am used to pale faces looking at me in fright Since I am the Dark Prince, the son of night I found an inn and a place to rest When this young woman walks in a black silk dress She speaks to the innkeeper and he points to me And although within shadows I knew she could see Now I have travelled the universe and seen it all But this woman was the most beautiful of them all Her black silk skirt matched her corset of leather And she walked with the grace of a falling feather Her long black hair and her pale skin She was just simply amazing I sensed her darkness within her beauty When she came and sat down next to me With a voice of angel and of death She seduced me with every breath "Forgive me, but are you not the Dark Lord?" I nod my head she couldn't be ignored "What do you want mortal?" I whisper Although in my heart I wanted to kiss her She laughed at said "Awe but I am no Mortal" "I like you Dark Prince come from another portal" When she spoke I saw her white teeth And two sharp fangs like a daggers sheath With my hand on my sword I say "I should slay you now demon, without delay" "I am the Dark Prince but I am akin to none" "But you vampire seem to be a special someone" "So tell me why do you want from me?" Her beautiful face looked up, "To travel with thee" "My name is Lillith, but others know me as the Vampire Queen" "I am tired of blood and being heard of but never seen" "I am an outcast and a freak" I lift my finger to her lips to stop her to speak "I understand my Queen, I too am exiled to a dream" "Such beauty cursed with a thirst for blood, I understand" And I take of my gauntlet and hold her hand I look in her eyes of burning desire and lust "You will accompany me until I find you a land full of hope and trust" "Never would I offer such help because I travel alone" "But you are beyond beautiful so I will take you home" Her eyes fill up with darkness "Thank you your Highness" "I have been roaming world after world looking for you" "I know you are the Dark Prince but there is good in you" I say nothing I just get up and walk to the inn door "Come my vampire queen, we have lands to explore" Those days I travelled with the Vampire queen Where perhaps the happiest I have ever been I took her to a land across the sea A place where she would be happy But the Vampire Queen always is a part of me. 11:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Let me take you there.... People seem hell bent on breaking records Seems like they never cut free of their umbilical chords I've broken no records but a cut hole in society To escape the furry of reality With my soft fingertips I gently tear A vortex into a world, we can share So come on, let me take you there Let me take you there Night times and lazy afternoons It's like being on good magic mushrooms Rainbow skies and blurry days Where the birds sing 'purple haze' The smell of perfume fills the air So come on, let me take you there Let me take you there Raindrops trickle rather than spit And where everyone seems to fit Peoples smiles are semi circular And emotions are familiar A gentle breeze without a care So come on, let me take you there Let me take you there The man in the moons face is full of mirth As he gleefully laughs at his mother Earth Man and animals, go hand in paw Fish and birds, go fin in claw Utopia and freedom, honesty and loyalty Just close your eyes and follow me Come on, it's a dare Send me a postcard when you're there Let me take you there. 10:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove sisters poem/ dedicated to my sister, called talking to a tombstone Talking to a tombstone The cold hairs that stick up on my neck The sun high in the clouds, like a little speck The morning dew that dampens the grass reminds me that another year has past I've not forgotten you, every time the birds sing It reminds me of everything But another year has past,and i have grown And i find myself talking to a tombstone I sit and look at the moss that has gathered around the grey edge I look to the side of me and see the wild berries in the hedge I tell you about my day I ask you why you went away? I smile but i feel so much sadness And i tell you, you are truly missed I put the newly bought flowers by last years bunch I get out my sandwiches and tell you the news over lunch I tell that it is late and that i must be getting home I feel better talking to a tombstone I clean the grave with my hankie in my pocket I can hear you giggle and tell me to stop it I tell you that i still love you And that was one thing which was always true I never lied about that! That's an eternal fact I get up from my wet knees I feel the tears get colder in the breeze And i walk away, i feel you in me, i am not alone Says me, talking to a tombstone 10:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Karma Universal In the core, in the clouds, In the Sea In anything you touch, in everything in me The whisper, the shout, the silence Crowds, couples, alone, avoidance Hours, minutes, seconds and years Happy, sad, frightened fears The birds in the trees, the birds in the sky The tears at birth, the tears when you die The thunder and lightening, the rain and the snow In the heart, in the soul, only you know The artist paints white with shades of black The beggar never cowers from any attack For what happens to others, always comes back Karma
last post
16 years ago
posts
2
views
493
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0513 seconds on machine '179'.