“The Top 11 Signs Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts”
11. Conducts the first week's lessons in two chairs using imaginary driving motions and engine sounds.
10. Keeps stopping in the middle of your lesson to deliver pizzas.
9. Fails you unless you can get the airbag to pop.
8. Instead of emergency brakes on his side of the car, he has a passenger-side accelerator and a mini bar stocked with Wild Turkey and Ho Ho’s.
7. Has "P - R - D - 2 - 1" painted on his fly and keeps yelling, "Shift!"
6. Has a working saw blade on the hood and mutters about "fixing Speed Racer for good".
5. Immediately fails you because his Carmen Miranda-style hat doesn't fit in your Escort.
4. Day One: "Chinese Fire Drills", "Basic Mooning Techniques" and "Reloading a 9mm at 90 mph."
3. Always divides class into "shirts" and "skins."
2. When he yells "England," you're supposed to start driving on the other side of the road.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts...
1. Insists you turn off the headlights and "use the Force."
