Given that the only interesting thing I get to do each day is think, I tend to go on mental tangents that lead me to places that one should only visit either drunk, or well off their rocker.  But here I am, stone cold sober and stamped mentally sane, so why is it that the things that I visualize even when sober, even when sane, scare the hell out of any one with a rational thought left in their physic.  Damn if I know anything that could have any reference to what I am thinking, most of the time I try to ignore my thoughts and turn on the television.  I look to have someone else's voice fill my head, someone else's story fill my life, and this is the only relief that I know.  Turn off the world and turn on "momma's stories".  Only they are not stories my mother would have watched, they are the ideas of twisted and depraved individuals and I can not get enough of it because I am no longer thinking for myself, no longer thinking anything worth contempation.

I really need a cigerette.