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What are you waiting for?

Whether you can touch your toes or just your nose is irrelevant. They are not the same toes you were once able to touch many moons ago. You see, every seven years the whole system changes from outside to in and the same old toes or nose will never be the same again. If you see people running in great distress it is because they are heading for the skin-shedding shed. They will be back soon but with a new hide to hide behind. It must be sickening if you have just had a face-lift and then have a total transformation due to the seven year shed. It is a shame the shed does not get rid of the spread as in middle-aged spread. The reduction in the cost of dieting would be vast and the whole slimming industry would go out of business. In fact, when you thin about it, changing yourself is rather a waste of time and money. All you have to do is sit and wait for seven years to elapse and you will be a completely new soul. I wonder if the mind changes as well. Perhaps that is why people go funny, as they get older. It could be a hitch in the re-wiring department and the hide-sheding shed. And what of silicon implants, they surely cannot slip out and disappear over night so beauty is perhaps not just skin deep as we thought. What a strange world. To think that all things metamorphosise over time or just last for a day like the ephemeral red admiral butterfly. It must have been a struggle getting out of its first stage of growth but the end product was well worth the effort. And it was all its own work as not a surgeons knife came within one hundred miles of it. A tree’s cycle cannot be seven years long as it drops its leaves everywhere in the autumn and blows pretty blossom all over the lawn in May. Even the smell changes from decay to delightful perfume. It is a shame that humans do not have the same properties. That would save a lot of deodorant spraying and subsequent ozone layer killings. I guess there are the hormones and pheromones rampaging around from puberty-just to cause embarrassment to youngsters to mid-life sweaty armpits just to attract the opposite gender and in late life you get the smell of incontinence and that is when you do need deodorants. So back at the shedding shed one can only hope and pray that the net effect of the change brings something to smile about even if it just gives you crow’s feet. After all, these minor lines will be replaced by pavement-sized cracks around the eyes on the next change. Is that where the expression “The Change of life” comes from? And the seven-year itch does that have its beginnings in the shedding shed. Life gets complicated enough without having to worry about all this change and so it is maybe just as well that all these changes occur over a seven year period and not overnight like the butterfly. That, after all, only has a day to live so it has to be pretty quick to become a snappy dresser, catch a mate, procreate and then go to that great insect heaven where all creatures wait to find out what they will be returned as and also to where. I bet they do not wish to become a human in their next life because I sure do not want to be one unless I know for sure that it will be as a male. What a doddle. Not only do they have no pain or strain but they age much better and that is probably due to the sheltered life they lead behind a good woman be it mother, partner or whatever. Well, in the real world only butterflies have a change with something to show for it. We humans, on the other hand, get old and change over a long period - over a lifetime to be precise and it is hard to see the difference as time goes by. Thank heaven for photographs - well maybe not as they can be cruel just like the mirrors with neon lighting above. We must count our blessings in any circumstance because nobody has it easy - not even those who appear to. Surely, they have their bad hair days (or should that be hide days) just like the rest of us! So nothing is what it seems and it makes life a little spicier not knowing what will be. All I know is that the grass never stops growing and watching paint dry is very boring. Not that the latter has anything to do with the scheme of things but just occasionally there are times when you can sit and do absolutely nothing except stare into space. At least it saves you trying to touch your toes or even think about what is around the corner or for tea come to that. Roll on the next change - there will only a few years left to wait. And what difference will it make - none unless you make a big splash of things and go out in style. I do not think that is my cup of tea and so it is back to the mundane. It costs nothing to dream though so what the heck - let me have another five minutes of doing absolutely nothing but stare at the wall and think of what we can do to get out of making more washing-up. Thank heavens for takeaways and exfoliants. June 2003.
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