I don't expect you of all people to understand my actions. I know how strange it all must seem, you would be right in not hearing me out but if you could just please allow me the opportunity to explain my actions and how this situation came into being.
My name is Marlane, I was an art student, and a struggling one you might say. I was unhappy with the way things were going, not unhappy with my life or anything just stuff general. I suppose I was just like any young girl would be though. I wasn't suicidal or troubled really; I just was not entirely satisfied. I was just a rather introspective and shy person. I have always felt alone, and art seemed to be my one comfort, my one escape. It seemed that no one understood me; I've never really belonged anywhere else. I felt normal though, perhaps even that I was the only normal one, it was others that were different. I guess, well no, I know how this all started, I was in my painting 132 class. I was just sitting there; painting a picture of a woman...
"And did you know this woman?"
No, that's to say, I didn't. Not at first at least.
"Go on"
Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just rather nervous. So I was mixing some colors and adding some like detailing to the background of her picture. And that's when it happened.
"What was it that happened, Marlane?"
IT happened; everyone's faces became abstract like a Picasso. Snap just like that, that suddenly. Right when I looked up back up from my brush strokes.
"Does that make sense to you?"
No of course it doesn't, but I'm not crazy. That is just how it happened, that's exactly what I saw. I looked up and there faces were twisted and mangled
"No one seemed to be spared?"
Only me and the woman in the picture seem real at this point.
"Are you saying that the woman in the picture came alive?"
Yes, that's exactly what happened.
"Why do you think it was that your face and the woman from the paintings face seemed unchanged?"
I don't suppose I thought through the reasons why only we were normal looking
"How were you even aware that you were not changed, was there a mirror?"
No... Not a mirror, the women... well, this probably sounds odd but I felt like she was my reflection some how. I stood up from my seat, and I...I started to say peoples names. They would look at me and before I knew it everyone was looking at me it seemed. I just couldn't say it.
"Say it?"
I just couldn't bring myself to ask them what was wrong with their faces.
So I stood there staring, and I began to cry.
"Is that when the teacher came over?"
Yeah he came over and was asking me what was wrong but his face...
"Was there something wrong with your teachers face also Marlane?"
Yes it seemed worse than the others... I'm sorry I just don't feel that I can do this anymore.
"Why is that?"
I feel like you're judging me, you think I'm insane don't you?
"I'm merely here to listen to your explanation. I'm not judging you"
I know I'm sorry. It's just all too traumatic for me to think about right now
"You don't have a choice now Marlane the deeds have been sown, can you recall what you did next?"
Yes, his face became much worse and then she… stabbed him.
"The woman stabbed your teacher?"
Yes, I tried to stop her. I fell to the floor.
"Marlane, do you really believe that the woman in your picture came out of the painting and stabbed your teacher?"
Yes of course I do, it's what I saw.
"What happened after the stabbing?"
I fell, and I laid there next to him for a moment, trying to stop the bleeding. It was all over my hands, forming a puddle underneath his crumpled body. I soon realized, he was gone and that I needed to get myself back up. It seems I was at once on my feet; I saw that all of the other students were running, so I ran with them.
"That's understandable, where did you run to?"
I was outside, standing within a group and their faces, their faces were becoming worse it seemed.
"Is that why you killed those students too Marlane?"
No, I didn't do that either, I DID NOT kill anyone. I panicked, I got down on the ground, and I felt like I was breaking down. Like I was going nuts or something, I knew what I was seeing but I just couldn't cope with it. I started to scream so that it would cover their screams.
"I see, was this the woman from the paintings doing also?"
Yes, she killed them too in the same way. She whispered to me while she did her work. 'It's better for them this way' she said. I asked even begged her to stop as she cut at them, each person falling then all around me, their funny faces pasted to the floor.
"What did she say when you asked her to stop?"
She said nothing, she laughed though.
"She was laughing?"
Yes, without making a sound, her mouth wasn't even moving. I just knew, somehow that she was laughing at my pleas. Her voice pierced my head, vibrated my ears and shook at my brain.
"I see"
So I walked away, I gave up trying to stop her I'll admit that. I left those people to die there, but how was I supposed to stop her though? I tried but I just couldn't, she wouldn't let me in to stop her.
"When you say, that you gave up on helping are you admitting blame?
Yes, I guess in some ways it is. I allowed it to happen without raising a hand. I ran...just simply ran as far as I could. The police sirens seemed to follow me everywhere I would go.
"Is there a reason why you did not stop and give yourself up right away?"
Because I didn't do it! That's what I've been trying to tell you! You see, they would have just assumed it was done by my hands, I was covered in blood.
"I understand"
You can try to, and pretend to but you cannot understand. Who would believe me? I must seem so guilty though I'm not.
"Calm down, you could get help for whatever is troubling you I'm sure"
Help? There's no helping it, I'm going to be locked away in a nut house some place. While she's free, she must be stopped.
"But like you said you didn't do it, and I believe that"
Do you really?
"Yes, that's why I'm here now. To listen to your side of the story, remember? Where did you end up going?"
I got on a bus, the faces of people continued to distort but I felt as though the woman was far away now, she had not gotten to these people yet. I just needed to be alone, away from people. I knew she would eventually find me. I got off the bus in front of a tall building, I thought that maybe if I could get to the top I could be alone, and she wouldn't find anyone to hurt there. I thought perhaps there I could confront her finally, maybe stop her.
"Why did you lock the doors behind you when you got to the top if you wanted her to follow?"
I had to, to stop the police. But I knew she would find a way to get it in no matter what I did.
"Are you sure its not that she's just simply not real and only in your mind?"
I had thought about that at some points, it's logical I suppose but then why was I not able to control her? Why was I not able to stop her from hurting those people in the first place?
"You can't always control a mental illness"
No you don't understand she's not a mental illness. A mental illness cannot hurt others
"No, it requires the person that's mentally ill to do it"
Yes, and as I've said I didn't do it. She did it, I watched her as she did it if I were merely insane would I be able to rationalize the possibility of my own insanity?
"No, I suppose you would not."
Do you see now?
"I think so, Is that why you are standing on the edge of this building?"
Yes, and now you know why.
"But you are not actually responsible for the crimes, I am why are you ending it this way?"
You're too crazy to take responsibility for reality; I have to do it for you.
"So then its time to go now isn't it?"
If I don't they will come take us away to a hospital.
"I understand, and appreciate the explanation you've given."
I'm only sorry that I couldn't stop you earlier
"Are you ready to end our life now Marlane?"
Yes.
