There is little doubt that I cannot abet rules. I don't depise them, in a sociopathic kind of way. I simply suck at follwing them. For example, blogging actually has become an issue in my personal life. My girlfriend began reading every blog that I posted on Myspace, and my Yahoo 360 account, and took to the habit of over analyzing every word that I typed. We fought incessantly over this, and I quit blogging just to silence all of the drama. But, as you can see, I didn't follow any rule. I just found a way around it! Never forget this about me and we'll get along famously!
Creating a first blog, in my present state of mind might not be the most logical of choices. I have definitely had a few beers. OK. Maybe more than a few. Which will rob me of much of my common sense and articulation. And to top that off, I spent a good portion of the night having really intense sex, with said girlfriend. That means that my sexuality is compromised as well. Yet, even with these handicaps in place, I still feel a need to write, so I will.
Another thing that would be wise to remember about me is that I am addicted to blogging. In my estimation this is poor mans therapy. Anyone who is easily disturbed or offended should probably run away and forget that they ever found this blog. I tend to speak my mind. And my mind is filled with MUCH to be afraid of! So, having fulfilled my blogging duty, by posting a warning type of disclaimer, I will now continue!
My name is John. Hefficide is a play upon my last name ( Heffley ). And, no, there was no great amount of thought or esoteric meaning put into this internet identifier. I just was trying to find something that wouldn't require adding numbers to it. There is nothing more lame than trying to converse with somebody who uses a name like grim_reaper_048. Let's face it, the guy who got grim_reaper, without the numbers, won. I did not want anything self engrandizing when I was trying to find an original name. And this Hefficide thing works. BTW it is not my last name with "suicide" mixed in. I just thought that the notion of "self deconstruction" met with the majority of what people on the net do, by lying or misrepresentation. So the name is kind of a political barb against this.
I can promise that, if nothing else, I do not and will never misrepresent the real me here. And the truth of the matter is that I have no reason to do so. I have been blessed with a very interesting and eventful life. I honestly am one of those people who HAS caught a fish *this* big. Trying to exaggerate my experiences would really just make things seem way over the top. My real life is over the top enough. Both where good and bad are concerned. I make a point to manifest and glorify my Celtic heritage by living in a way that does my heritage credit. And the Irish are quite a challenge to live up to!
A smattering of random, biographical facts, just to lay the groundwork of my world, so that readers might have a better understanding of just what I've gone through.
I am a forty year old man who lives near Atlanta, Georgia. I was born in Springfield, Mass. and made my way through Murfreesborough Tennessee, Nashua, New Hampshire, Miami, and Perrine, Florida, Fremont, California, and Arlington, Texas, as places that I have lived, along the way. I once tried to live in Batesville, Arkasas, but was politely thrown out of the state a few weeks later, and asked never to return by the fine and wonderful police there. I can't say that I blame them! I've been arrested more times than I can count, but have never been convicted of anything beyond traffic violations. I have been married, and divorced twice. I have had a handful of other live in relationships. And am currently in one now with a woman named Janna who is beautiful and who, miraculously doesn't seem to hate me! I have two children, from previous relationships. That is plural because they have different mothers. My son, Justin, was born in 1990. My daughter, Jessica, was born in 1996. It is possible that I have more kids, but the jury never weighed in, so to speak, on the couple that are possibilites.
Oh, and as my previous statements probably demonstrate, I definitely have a compulsive and spontaneous nature! I am Heaven at a party, but probably Hell to live with, if you are a closed minded person.
Another aspect of me that is probably beneficial to know is that I probably was not meant to live this long. I cannot count the times that I should have been dead, from accidents, or over indulgeance. But the total is definitely high. It is almost a daily event for me to read some kind of obituary of a person who took less medication than I have, and didn't survive.
I actually did die at 18, from a cardiac arrest ( I have the scar, down my chest to prove this ) but was brought back to life by doctors. And I am here to tell you that death is a trip. But that's a blog for a different day!
Other than that, I am addicted to rock music. But you must understand that my definition of rock isn't the popular definition of rock. I think of rock music as anything that really defines a certain state of mind... Anger, mixed with lust, mixed with insight, mixed with a bit of disenfranchisement. Thus there are rock bands that I consider to be pop. But there are also country, rap, and pop artists that I consider to be total rock! Johnny Cash, Tori Amos, and Nick Cave are good examples of this.
Oh, and I inhabit that realm of thought that will leave the reader wondering, fairly often, if I am brilliant, insane, or both, on a regular basis! It is also true that this questions answers will seemingly change, from time to time, as you read. But, regardless, at least you can be relatively sure that I'll never be boring!
And that ends the biographical introductions, for now. So, on with the blog!
Seeing as how I am awake at this ungodly hour, I may well be the first civilian in the free world to know that a jury has found Saddam Hussien guilty. D'uh. Didn't we predicate an entire WAR upon this assumption? He has been sentenced to death. Again, D'uh. Do you think our Emporer, umm I mean President, George W Bush would have accepted anything else? "Oh, Saddam got ten years of probation? Cool, the American public will totally agree, now, that the billions were worth it.". No fucking way. Dude was dead the second the first plane took off, IN 1991! All I've got to say is that it's good we got him out of power, so now Iraq can be a tranquil place to live *cough*.
Another news topic is one of the hardcore religious people that our President relied upon, to provide the government with godly advice, has become entangled in a web of homosexual acts, and illegal substances. Thus proving my long time theory that God can smoke a cock, and a crack pipe, as long as YOU don't. See, he's like a parent. And as a father I can say this. I WANT mothers to fuck like they were PAID for it. But I'll be damned if my daugher, or my step daughter is going to let ANY boy touch them! That's the way the moral majority feels about sin as well. They really don't hate loose women. They hate that loose women are just as willing to take satanic cock as they are to take godly cock. It's the nuances that matter damnit.
I should elaborate, at this point, that I believe in God, the Judeo - Christian God. I have read the Bible and don't think that he's nearly as uptight as religious institutions make him out to be. Opportunistic of me? Maybe. Hellbound? Possibly. But having a really good fucking time right now??? DEFINITELY! I mean, c'mon, the ONE person on my friends list, as of now, who WAS NOT put there automatically, is a PORN star! And I LIKE this fact. That alone shows that I won't be asked to be pastor of any churches in the near future!
Damn. Almost eight in the morning, now. That means that it's time to close this up and to try to sleep. If you've read this, no matter who you are, ponder the idea of adding me as a friend, or whatever options this Cherrytap thing has. If you are already on my friends list, feel free to leave me a comment or message that you've stopped by. I'd love to know that somebody is paying attention. I will try to upgrade and update my profile soon, with more pics and things, so that people can have more of an idea who I am! G'night!
