Well I posted a mumm yesterday. Concerning whether or not I should buy my daughter her school clothes for this coming year. I am divorced, and pay her mom child support of $ 440 a month. On which she also receives $ 500 for adoption assistance from the State of California.
I purposely left out some of the information as a kind of experiment. And the vote was pretty close. YAY won out by a narrow margin. And thats cool. I really don't have much of a problem spending money on my daughter, and as stated have done so over and above the child support I do pay during the year. And like I said, not just on her birthday or Christmas.
Now, for the rest of the story...........
When I picked her up at her home on Friday (a drive of some 28 miles each way) I noticed a few pallets of things in her driveway. I didn't mention it, because I really could care less what her mom buys. So when we got home was quite in shock when she said her mom wanted to know if I could buy her school clothes for this coming year. When I asked why, she responded that her mom "was a little broke with birthdays and such this past month". I then told her that we would discuss it further later. I also had her step sister (in all actually her cousin) so I didn't want to spoil her visit, since I only get to see that kid once or twice a year since the divorce. She lives in California. When she left on Saturday morning though to go school clothes shopping with her mom and her new hubby, I confronted my daughter.
I asked why in the world with what her mom gets for child support for her, could she be broke? Especially when she had those pallets of stuff on her driveway. So I asked if she was redoing a bathroom or remodeling some of her home because I wasn't buying that she was broke since Katie was going to get HER clothes. She looked stunned. So I asked what was in the boxes again. She looked very sheepishly at me and uttered "Our new pool".
As you can imagine, this kinda infuriated me. Not so much that they are getting a pool. I really don't care about that. But to have my daughter ask me to go above the call to get her school clothes while she is out spending money on a pool? Come on people. Her hubby has his two kids living with them also. They do not like my daughter. And she confided this in me. The ex took her out of a school here in town to move her last November to where her "boyfriend" lived his whole life. With his kids going to school there, all they're lives. This is where she bought HER home (she told the kids specifically that Michaels name WAS NOT on the title) from the $ 17,000 cash she got in the divorce from my 401k. My daughter was doing fine in school here. Where she had friends she had been in school with for years. Then she started having problems in math around the holidays. Went from a b- to a d. I wrote the teacher of hers a note, and asked if she could please e-mail to me what my daughter needed help with, and that I would work with her on it. I had been working with her on my weekends once I found out what her grade was. But to my dismay, her teacher e-mailed her mom instead. Guess thats the price of divorce. And I have fought with the schools before to be kept informed. To no avail even though by law, they have to. All I get are excuses. And I suspect but can't prove who is behind that one. And I just tired of fighting the system. I don't have the money to sue the school system.
Anyways. My divorce took over a year and a half to complete. In that time, I had to keep the insurance up on my daughter and soon to be ex. My ex first had shoulder surgery which delayed the case. Then, she had cut herself with a knife and severed two tendons on her hand. While the Dr was in there, he also did a carpel tunnel job on her. So a nurse with one hand doesn't work. In that interim, I LOANED her $ 1300 when the utility company threatened to turn off the power at the home she was living in. I did it more so for my daughter. Then her washing machine went down. So I bought her a new one. She promised to pay that back too. I also through a court oversight, paid $ 1800 in OVER payments to child support. Which the court was so nice as to say that if I ever fall into arrears, they will consider it. And Christmas the year she was laid up? I bought all the presents for everyone. Even included her. LOL. I also paid for her daughters trip from California for her summer visit last year. Again, with the promise that I would be paid back.
There is also the matter of $ 20,000 damages that her and the other kids did to my home in the 6 1/2 years we were married. I owned the place and the only reason she didn't go after it was because she would of had to come up with HALF the cost of repairs. I borrowed that sum from my 401k share. And I am still paying it back today.
While there is a lot more to this story, I am not gonna bitch about it any more. I just thought that you who voted should know a little more. Will I be buying her clothes for the school year. Yeah, probably once I get my profit sharing check on the 11th. I would of done it anyways without her mom making her "beg" and telling her to feed me a line of bullshit about it. Birthdays........ RIGHT. To this day, NONE of my kids or theirs receive anything from her. But she tells everyone, that she has 16 grandkids. LOL. Everyone, all of hers, mine, and grandkids get something from me. So go ahead people who wrote that I needed to take my responsibility. Tell me how much more responsible she is than me again. I need to hear it cause I sure do doubt it.
