Since only one person on CT knows me in real life im am going to lay it all out here. For better or for worse. (keep in mind im having a rough day).
First, my name is Adam, im 26 yo and until recently was living with my wife and 3 children. Due to many issues between us 3 months ago my wife asked me to leave. In doing so I finally got the help i needed for my Bi-polar disorder. Which she says is part of the reason for the seperation. I was forced to move back into my parents house since i don't have a fulltime job (i was a stay at home dad).
My illness caused many issues that i didn't see until i was being treated for it. I now find myself looking for ways to win my wife back. She says she still loves me but has no feelings for me. I am not a social person, at least since i stopped drinking and devoted my self to my family.
I am not sure what to do at this point. I am jealous of a a male friend she has, though she says it is only a friendship. She hasn't asked for a divorce, and we talk multiple times during the day and night.
So that kinda sums that up. Another thing I am an alcholic, which as I am told is a bipolar persons way of self medicating. I haven't drank in over 5 years not since I met my wife. I am not sure what to do at this point in my life, the only close "real" friends I have are scattered all over the world. And I have never made friends easily.
I have found since the early days of the internet that my shyness doesn't come into the picture as much. I have always had trouble meeting new people in real life, unless i was drunk. So I have not really had a friend to talk too. All of our so called mutual friends haven't even asked if i am ok...go figure. So unless the kids are with me (which is only when she is working and needs a sitter) I am alone talking to my friends online while playing WoW. Which she hated because I spent too much time on computers.
Those that I have talked to have told me to both move on and stick it out so not much help there. I am rather introverted and being the nerd i am spend far too much time online.
Also I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) left over from 5 years of working/volunteering as a firefighter/emt.
I know this was a lot of info and rather personal to be sharing with the world, but at this point in my life, I don't care. I care about my kids and my wife even though she shows little to no interest in me.
Well I hope your day is better then mine, im sure it is. I am off to play some warcraft and if you do as well feel free to pst me, i am on gnomerman server my char is piratefrog lvl 61 tauren warrior (hmm wonder why).
Also if you want to know more about me or chat just send me a message here and I will respond, if you have some advice, or been there done that then i will listen :)
Thank you for reading the ramblings put forth by me today.
I may be a nut but if you get to know me i am the best nut you'll ever find :)
Cheers
