Mosweetangel RLBF mofordman63's blog: "The PUN is mightier than the SWORD!"

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD ENERGIZER BUNNY ARRESTED. CHARGED WITH BATTERY. A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE. IN A MANOR OF SPEAKING. A PESSIMIST'S BLOOD TYPE IS ALWAYS B-NEGATIVE. MY WIFE REALLY LIKES TO MAKE POTTERY, BUT TO ME IT'S JUST KILN TIME. A FREUDIAN SLIP IS WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING BUT MEAN YOUR MOTHER. SHOTGUN WEDDING: A CASE OF WIFE OR DEATH. I USED TO WORK IN A BLANKET FACTORY, BUT IT FOLDED UP. A MAN NEEDS A MISTRESS JUST TO BREAK THE MONOGAMY. A HANGOVER IS THE WRATH OF GRAPES. IS A BOOK ON VOYEURISM A PEEPING TOME? DANCING CHEEK-TO-CHEEK IS REALLY A FORM OF FLOORPLAY. BANNING THE BRA WAS A BIG FLOP. SEA CAPTAINS DON'T LIKE CREW CUTS. A SUCCESSFUL DIET IS THE TRIUMPH OF MIND OVER PLATTER. A GOSSIP IS SOMEONE WITH A GREAT SENSE OF RUMOR. WITHOUT GEOMETRY, LIFE IS POINTLESS. WHEN YOU DREAM IN COLOR, IT'S A PIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION. CONDOMS SHOULD BE USED ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE OCCASION. READING WHILST SUNBATHING MAKES YOU WELL-RED. WHEN TWO EGOTISTS MEET, IT'S AN I FOR AN I. * I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. * To write with a broken pencil is pointless. * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A. * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. * The dead batteries were given out free of charge. * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. * A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. * The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. [That's a story that lens itself.] * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. * A backward poet writes inverse. * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat miner. * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. * The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. * A boiled egg is hard to beat. * He had a photographic memory which was never developed. * His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a blooming idiot. * A plateau is a high form of flattery. * Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.> * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. * Acupuncture: a jab well done