Lets see, lets go back to march, just after i left my ex. If you remember from a previous blog, she has just bit a hole in my chest, and I'm also bleeding from a head wound (the phone hit me the second time). Well, i left, and took my daughter with me. I went to my brothers, and hid out there for a litle bit. Unfortunately the ex knows where my brother lives. and she showed up with the cops. Since we weren't married, and i hadn't had time to file the domestic abuse report yet, they took my daughter and gave her back to her mom. well that first month, i spent without my little girl, and the ex and her mom wouldn't let me see her at all either. In fact, until i went to the lawyer and filed for custody of my daughter, i wasn't allowed to see Aurora. That was pretty miserable, but really probably a blessing, cause it gave me a chance to get offa drugs and alcohol. Well we made a settlement agreement, which gave us joint custody of AJ, i would have her for a week, and her mom for a week. with special stipulations for if someone gets on drugs. Well, after 3 weeks of switching AJ back and forth, Child Protective Services called me and told me to come get my daughter because her mother has been using coke and other drugs with AJ in the house. Well her mom said she wasn't doin it in the house, she was going to the neighbors house after AJ was asleep and getting f'ed up there. Well, i've had AJ since, and this was may of last year. her mom has not stopped using, has not gotten a job (well she did but she got canned for stealing from the register). I ended up having to take her to court in the end because she refused to provide her drug tests to me and still wanted visitation with AJ. Well, she showed to the first hearing, and the judge told her to drug test, and set up visits with AJ. She didn't do any drug tests.. and didn't show up to the next 2 follow up hearings. Thusly the judge said, no more visits. She told the judge she was going into rehab but instead has been living either on the street or numerous homeless shelters. Also, (through research on the net) i've found out that she hasn't shown up for any of the hearings having to do with the domestic abuse charges i filed. She's gone to jail for not showing up to court. and has had 3 hearing so far. Her last one was on the 26th, and as far as i know, she's got a warrant out because she hasn't shown up to any of them. Right now we have a custody hearing on Feb 12, because i got a letter from CPS saying they were dropping her case because my ex didn't wanna do anything they asked, and said that she shouldn't be allowed to be near her kids until she shows at least 3 years clean. So i filed for full custody, and the hearing is set for the 12th. So this is where i'm at now. Of course i'm doing it by myself. I live iwht my parents cause i can't work. Aurora's Dr.s have ordered that she have 24/7 supervision, and she's not allowed to go ito day care or be around too many people. So i can't work, since i'm the only one who can take care of her. I get a little help from my parents, but not a lot, and it's been a while since i've had many friends. I mean i go to one AA meeting a week, and that's the break i get from my daughter. that's it. Well, I have met one girl on the net, that i really fell for. course, the net being what it is.. i found out about a month and half ago, she lied to me about her age, and hasn't talked to me since. Course now, i really have a hard time trusting, but still hang out here cause there's nowhere else for me to be. I've met another wonderful girl, but can't be with her as i'd like to. so that's kinda upsetting, but i'm not giving up, and i'm not going to let past experiences mess up anything that might be good in the future. It don't help that I'm really shy, and a jealous person by nature, and just want to find love. But i think i'll save that subject for another blog..
