The monster inside us all
Current mood: confident
Category: Life
'The Monster inside us all. '
I found that I personally carry demons inside. Demons that will gladly destroy lives if threatened. Yes, we all carry these monsters inside.
In my attempts to protect myself I was blind to the harm of the innocent. By the time I discovered this was just about to late.
But, my conscious soon caught up with me. In my attempts to make things right, I made a new friend.
I scraped the article and decided not to pursue any further into the investigations. I still am leery and watch my back. That unfortunately is an human instinct of survival. In a world of self preservation that is just one thing we all do to survive the onslaught of controversy and discord.
In everything dark and disturbing, I found beauty and grace when I wasn't expecting too. To me that is a quality we all should carry when we find what is not like us. In difference there is beauty. In darkness there is light where no light can be found. Just when you think you have hit the wall of utter chaos and destruction. You suddenly find something so awe inspiring you wish every one could see.
Inside myself I have found a soul so dark at times, I am sure even the devil runs in fear.
I have always tried to treat people with respect and kindness, I left that behind, to my own disgrace. I hide this monster inside myself and when I feel threatened, it surfaces with such vengeance and malice that it leaves a wake that can be felt by the dead.
Getting a grip on that is truly hard to do when set in motion. But, one kind word or realization can calm that beast. Put it securely back into it's cage and hope it never escapes again.
Being a writer is a powerful thing, it can make or break lives. However, it is our own choice to make to let that happen. I can proudly say that it has been years since I felt that monster rise and I didn't like it when it did.
I saw friends rise and circle me too protect me. I am so proud that I have those people that care about me so much that they would do this.
Those numbers rise everyday because of who I am and how I treat people, the ethics I carry and live by. When you break your own code of honor it makes you question a lot about who you are. Nonetheless, when you try and stop the madness and make things right, you can stand proudly knowing you controlled the destruction.
I believe in the misfits, the wanders, the sinners, the individual that stands up and takes that chance to show everyone who they really are.
My thanks goes to that one person who lightened my heart and proved to me that I wasn't this evil bitch writer. She spoke to the person instead of the writer, an friend instead of a would be enemy and treated me with respect and understanding.
That amazed me and blew me away. I am still in awe of all the grace and forgiveness this beautiful woman carries in light of my intent to destroy. This is dedicated to her.
