To the one I thaught was real,
Everything you ever told me was untrue. Every lie you told I baught, every story you told, I listened, ever time you cried, I cried with you. Your life is not your own, but the one you wish it will be, you yourself even believe the lies you say. You claim to have never loved befor, you claimed to have never lived befor, you claimed I was your world, your heart, your soul. This was the biggest of all your untruths. You cannot love, you never could, you must first find who you are yourself befor you can claim another into your heart. You have used all your lines befor, this I know. All those things you say you never said nor felt, I know you have befor. You think I am nothing more then a silly little girl believing everything you say. Yes I did... I wanted to give you the benifit, I wanted it to be true, I wanted to believe in you as no one else has. I wanted to love you, I wanted to give myself to you. I believed you could show me the way to the life I always wanted, only to find that my dreams are empty, my faith in you gone. Deception is your game, and I was simply another player in your life. Maybe player is not the right word, perhaps pawn would be better. You simply did not want to be alone and I ... just so happened to be the closest thing to what you needed at that time. Yes I did have my faults, no Iknow I am not perfect but at least I was true... the things I said .... I ment.... the things I did ... i did with an open heart ...waiting for you ,,, wanting you .... I feel as a fool... I want to hate you ... to surese you ... to make your life a living hell. I know I could so easily, I know how to, I know your lies , I know what a web you have made, I know how to entrap you within it. But that ... that is not me.... I am not like you.... I do care .... even if you hurt me the way you did... and you call this my weakness... I care .... I love .... I am not resentful... I am not hatefull... I am not hurtfull... I am not you... This is not a fault... this is not a weakness... this is my strength... I prefer to live my life for the positive .... not to hurt but to help . Yes I will always love you ... not for the hurt but for the lesson I have learned. For those things you taught me, and those things you gave to me, even if it was not for the right reasons. I will always care for you, I hold no grudges, I wish you the best in life, I hope someday you find yourself, and see what you have become. I hope someday you can find the truth you have hidden under all those lies. I just hope you are then strong enough to make things right and be the man I know you will someday be. I hope that the road o your self realization does not hurt anymore unknowing women,but I know there will be more hearts you break and lives you shatter on your way. I just wished you knew what it is you do to others .... I wish you could see and feel the devistation you create along the way .... I wish you could understand the hurt you caused. I wish .... I wish .... you could just for once see beyond yourself and your lies....
