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The love of my life...

Right now, I am speechless. Almost everyone who knows me knows the love I have for lindon. We don't chat often anymore. As a matter of fact, we hardly talk at all... until he decides he wants to fuck me. He acts like he cares so much about me... and does he? Hell, i don't know... never will... all i know is i love him. I always have, i'm afraid i always will love him. I'm not sure why i allow myself to even think of him. He has hurt me in so many ways. I have wished, for so long, that he would love me. But he wont... and it's weird, because recently, i haven't cared too much about him, and some days, don't even think about him... mainly because i've started falling for scott. And Lindon knows about scott, but it seems Lindon persues me harder... mostly for sexual reasons. I'm sure he cares about me some... but not enough. And it's like, he doesn't quite wanna let me go... Right now, he is driving drunk... from Norman, to Stillwater... If he got hurt... god knows i would never be able to live with myself... And i have this awesome boyfriend, who really cares about me... and here i am worrying about Lindon... I dunno... lindon knows i love him... he knows it... thats why he does this shit to me... OOOHHH god it makes me SOOOO mad.... anyways enough ranting... scott, i know you're gonna read this... thank you for being patient with me, and understanding... you're an amazing guy. Thank you, for being you. For putting up with me... through all my drama and bullshit.... you make it so easy to wanna love you... you're amazing... i'm so lucky to have you in my life.... **kisses**
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