This kid was dragging his dead frog down the street, he walks up to this "hooker house", bangs on the door,the madame opens up the door and asks "what can I do for you dear?" the kid says "I want a hooker!" The madame says "I'm sorry young man, you must have the wrong place" The kid whips a hundred out and says "I want a hooker and I want one RIGHT now!" The madame says "come on in" The kid says "I want a hooker with herpes" The madame says "son, all my girls are clean" The kid whips out another hundered and says "Iwant ahooker with herpes RIGHT now!" The madame says "upstairs, first door on the right" so the kid goes upstairs still dragging his dead frog, goes in, takes care of "business" comes out still dragging his dead frog. Before for he leaves the madame asks the kid "why did you want a girl with herpes?" The kid says "ok, I'll tell you why! I'm gonna go home and fuck my babysitter, and she's gonna get herpes, my dad wil pick her up to drive her home, he fucks her and he's gonna get herpes, he'll come home, fuck my mom and she'll get herpes, then tommorow, the mailman wil come, fuck my mom and he'll get herpes.....and THATS THE MUTHER FUCKER WHO KILLED MY FROG!"
A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, the guy asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," the blonde replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, at the beginning, they flipped a coin. One team got it and then for the rest of the game, everyone kept screaming 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, Helloooooooooooo - it's only 25 cents!"