The Lost Wondering Thoughts Of My Soul Blog by Nikotine
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delusions tormented whimpers become screams of maddened distrust huddled memories of euphoria feel the stinging blows brought on by desolation
i want to be in my world forever.. it has silver grass.. and a purple sky.. and i'm the only one there.. just me and the snake.. it's orange with piercing red eyes.. it's neither male nor female.. which is nice.. makes things much easier.. it holds all the answers to lifes questions yet it doesn't give them up easily.. it hangs from the baby blue apple tree.. the tree that gives me all the food i could ever want.. and i feel content.. my world is a valley.. surrounded by grass covered mountains.. a pink stream runs down the mountains and cuts the valley in half.. it's never dark here.. or sunny.. just different shades of purple.. it's relaxing.. there's no one to judge me.. to anything me.. because me and the snake are the only ones here.. when i'm here i'm not happy or sad.. hurt or mad.. i'm just content.. it's the only emotion allowed in the valley and that's just fine.. i can sit anywhere and be comfy.. the grass surrounds me and i feel protected.. it tickles.. it embraces.. it removes all my worries.. i can lay on my back and stare up at the sky which has stars in it all the time.. for hours on end.. the stars dance for me.. and i feel content.. all the problems in my life are gone.. there's not a thought in my mind.. nothing needs to be dealt with.. nothing needs to be solved.. no one needs me.. and i need no one.. there is no talking between me and the snake.. we just know what the other is thinking and that's fine.. we understand each other and we need no more.. though i think he understands me better then i may even understand myself.. but that's okay.. cause i am content.. so now you know where i am when i just stare off into space.. or why i don't want to get out of bed sometimes.. i never want to leave there.. it is my sanctum.. my oasis.. my utopia.. it is my place to be me.. i've never taken anyone there.. nor have i really ever told anyone about it.. it's the last piece of me that i kept inside and hid from the world.. but people keep telling me i don't open up.. so here.. take the last piece of me.. but please don't change my world.. not one blade of grass.. not one thought of the wise old snake.. i don't want my world to come crashing down on me.. please.. leave my world to me.. it's not a vacation spot.. it's not a place to just hang out because you're bored.. it's mine and i want it to stay that way.. because there.. i feel content
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