Okay. So gone are the days when I could throw caution to the wind and conduct myself like there could be no tomorrow. I was single. And I was young. And I had no kids. Now, I am middle-aged (or so they say). I will soon be *gasp* 45 years old. How sad.
I don't FEEL 45. I don't even think I look it. I get hit on by men who should be dating my daughter. But she's almost an adult. A sure sign that I am getting OLD. I listen to popular music and like it (sometimes). I don't try to dress like I'm 21...I know my limits. My figure was never built for that even when I WAS 21...LOL.
Oh yeah - and when I complain to my mom about getting old, she says "Think how I feel! I have a daughter that's middle aged!" Point taken.
As I come to this milestone birthday, I think to myself "Is this it? Is this my existance? Am I to live out the rest of my life wondering where the time went and why I had to be a responsible adult, a good provider, a decent mom, and someone in a profession that is reliable and dependable?" I wanted to be a rock star. I don't see THAT happening now. But I can be just as happy.
I can watch my daughter continue to grow up to be the lovely woman she will be. I can take pride in the fact that my students are healthy, happy, and LOVE coming to school each day. I can hold out hope that somewhere, someone is out there for me and that he is looking up at the stars and thinking that maybe his time has passed just like I often do. And then one day, when we least expect it, I will run into him with my car and we won't be able to take our eyes off one another.
NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....LOL.
