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the latest cycle

so...to my friends, who have been there and have gone thru the shit wit me and held my hand and gave me a shoulder to cry on. they are the best. i couldnt make it thru anything witout them. i still miss josh more than anything the newest cycle is that anyone i let in, hurts me. how do you learn from your mistakes if everyone expects you to be ok? i have trust issues cuz long distance and one bf here cheated on me and when i asked them if they were, they denied it, and i found out by snooping. or in the bf here's case (he was a bf a couple of yrs ago), 3 other people told me. i cant do this anymore. how can i be ok and why cant people understand? i forgive and forgive and get walked all over but when i have a problem, no one can seem to understand. i'm tired of gettin hurt. i'm tired of crying and tired of wanting to rip my heart out when i shouldnt feel that way. "i'm too psycho to be loved...and too troubled to be ok"
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