the inner me Blog by X510DATSUNGURLX
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Over and over again I've felt the pain,believing the words you say when things will change.I know better then to stay should of walk away on that hurtful day,made me cry every night.hoping you'll put all your sin's to rest,and save whatever left from all the damage were living with.I didn't want to stay where all the bad being,just wanted u to hold my hand.took me awhile to make up my mind and not to live u behind,I took the chance and stayed.I should of seen this coming my way things will never be just you and me,threes always something in love for you  reach it's end,finding all the things u hide telling woman lie's just to get them on your side.I be a fool to stay and listen to what u have to say,no longer will i let you work you words into my brain. Your not the only one who knows how to play your game,going to do everything you do!its like they say if u cant bet them join them.we reach the being of are end.


Trying to keep things from going under and over my head,am laying on a bed of bleeding rose's.everyday I can feel there throes dig there way into me making it harder to leave, or maybe its just me the loneliness that's eats away at me brings forbidden thing's closer to me. digging my self in deep, its getting harder to see the other side is it day or night?? Keeping my self lock inside trying to hide what's really going on deep inside, looking around at everyone's eyes hoping they don't see the real me. Don't want them to see the pain I keep or the loneliness that's pulling me in deep, pushing a smile on my face everyday when am with the family.the things they say and the jokes they make hurt me deep.just keep my mouth close and play along with the jokes,  no one wants to hear me its the same old thing,but now its more then that its how am felling as each day pass. Every time I turn to somebody theres no one alone with all this world of shit,am going to have to pull my self out. Only thing am too weak for everything. 

i never use to think things would end up like this,looking back at what use to exist a life you say never happened. A life that use to belong to us,now its nothing more but dust!! 


things weren't good the last time we spent time together,nothing but fright's every night. The thing's you said killed me,(I deserver every bad thing you ever did to me) tears rolled out my eyes as I cried all night. I never ask for any of  this the pain,you made up your mind and did what u did in are bed.nothing change I still feel that same, the hurt from you still waits for your touch  for your comfort. Maybe that day will never find its way but u sure did, walking around acting like everything is fine and you did no crime. Things happen too soon with you,every night I think to my self is he sleeping by him self or with some one el's? But I guess we all know were you go,straight to the other side.its like how they say(WELL AM AWAY HE WILL PLAY) it seems so far away when I use to be your only lady,now its no longer me that you see.(the grass is always greener in somebody else eyes)both side some things we didn't mean cant go back into time,just have to try to make things right.

Today i make the move were i sperate my self  from you and all the things you've done while I was gone.wanted things to last for you and me,are past will never look back.seeing us holding hands watching the world go by.bury me next to you after the long life we had,flowers laid upon are stones by the children we had. This use to be one of my dreams of you and me,an everyday day dream.I wish for this more then u can believe now am packing my things and going for the door. Tears running down my face as my bus leaves and my heart hits the floor. Lonely days and colds nights missing you more and more as we pass each sign,I bet am the only one be in your arms once more,to feel your touch on my lips,to have you hold me tight as we lay down. These are the things I'll miss.its all coming to its bitter end how I wish for none of this to have happen. Today I make the move were I sperate my self  from you and all the things you do,I've loved  you from day one and ill love you till the next rising sun. 

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