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The holiday is over

Well it's been less than two months since my father's death. To say I miss him is like calling the ocean a small stream. There is a void inside me that I am starting to wonder if it will consume me and take me to the blissful state of nothingness. So far no such luck. Today was a hard day for the family. The first holiday with daddy. The strangest things would break at least one of us down. Watching football, cooking dinner, eatting dinner, lauging at the memories that we shared and thinking about the wonderful times past. Reflecting back to things that we did, or things that need to be done realizing that the rock, the foundation of my family is gone. So the question was brought forth to me what are we to do? How do you move on? There was no easy answer. The world doesn't stop just because my own world is falling down. We rebuild the family and keep him in our hearts. Keep the thoughts that make us happy and do the things that we know he would love for us to do. One of the things that has bothered me the most is that it took my father's death to bring some of us together. While he was in ICU it brought my sister and I back together. Two years of not talking and he brough us back together. Then it took his death to bring my brother back to us. For the first time we are more like a family than ever. Catching up with each other, learning what the other has been up to, learning tragic things in the others life, hating we weren't there for each other, trying to make up for times past. Will that happen? Can that happen? Who knows? All I can do is hope and pray that we stick together this time. We all need each other now.
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