i knew from the start that it was 2 good 2 b true. but i faked it. we were a perfect match. he was the lo 2 my lette. the insanely mean 2 my crazy nice. he was the fizz n my faygo the stars n my sky. we complimented each other perfectly. it was almost as if we were meant 2 b. we had so much n common and so much 2 talk about and learn it was wonderful. kinda like a fairy tale n the making....
then he decided that he would have sex with the fat whore down the street. and lieing 2 me in order 2 do it. my whole world came crashin down like the tears falling from his eyes. through some heavy persuasion by a third party i forgave him.
it seems that im the kind of girl that loves assholes. i knew that he was cyber bully...that he was unusually cruel but i never thought he would b like that 2 me. and he wasnt...4 a lil while. i dont like fighting and get along great with others so when all the fighting started i was really tripped out.
in no time at all he brought out the very worst n me...things that i didnt know existed nside of me. i said things out of anger i would only say 2 my worst enemy. i couldnt stand 2 b around him. i would b physically ill cuz i would b so nervous about him...was he happy or pissed off? cuz if he is pissed off he is gonna yell at me and b real mean 2 me and pick at me and on me and try 2 get me 2 fight with him and hurt my feelings and he might tell me we r threw...it was so unpredictable. he would just flip out hard core 4 no real reason.
im not saying it was bad all the time. just a lot of the time. what had started out as a fairy tale was lookin more like happily never after every minute. when it was good it was beyond great. but when it was bad it was hell.
well 2 weeks ago he left n the middle of the night with just a goodbye my cousins r here have a nice life. this was out of the blue. we didnt talk 4 days and then when we did he said the most cruel mean things he could possibly think of. he was cold hearted and sounded as if he hated me. he told me that he was done with us and done with me that he never wanted 2 talk 2 me again.
i was devastated. i cried 4 what seems like 4ever. changed all the songs on my psp 2 sappy love leaving hurting songs...so not like me. i was falling apart. even my best friend said that i was no fun no more and that i was way 2 depressed.
then we didnt talk 4 days again. then my phone rings at 7am...i dont even know what 7am look like, and it was him. he had went 2 his dads 2 get his life 2gether. u know a job and a car and some money. but him and his dad and step mom got n2 it real bad and he was going home. that is when he told me that he fucked up real bad by leaving and that he loved me with all his heart and that everything he does is 4 me...4 us. he said he would call back.
days passed once again with no call...nothing. then i call him and he says that his alcoholic crazy ass mom had been there so he couldnt call me...ok...he was talkin 2 me like nothing bad ever happened. we were laughing and joking and then out of no where he asks if we were still 2gether...wtf...seriously? coming from the one that dumped me and said all that shit about me and my fam who did everything 4 him...he stayed here free, ate free, smoked free, drove my car free, got high free, drank free, downloaded movies free, my fam took him n and treated him like fam...something his fam didnt even do. i didnt even know what 2 say...so i said nothing and conversation went on.
i got on myspace and seen that he had taken me off his top friends and changed his name he even changed his status 2 single. i also seen a comment from his cousin that said i was a fake ass juggalette fuck a bunch of hopium u dont need that dirty good 4 nothing whore. i asked him y...if we were 2gether those changes were made and asked him 2 change them back....i said nothing of the comment from his cousin. he said he didnt wanna change them right now but he would when he got on there again. he got on just 2 long enough 2 read that comment then delete it.
we talked again and things were great...like nothing ever happened. it was strange and i still dont know what 2 think of it.
once again it has been days since we talked. he has started hiding our relationship from his fam and obviously said some pretty bad things about me considering the comment his cousin left on his myspace. he even yelled at me last time we talked cuz he found the relish after he needed it and had looked everywhere 4 it...and was real mean 2 me...
i have tried and tried and know that i deserve better. but i swore i would stick this out til the very end...but maybe this is the end. i know im stupid 4 staying but i dont want 2 b stupid 4 leaving 2.
