Over 16,528,040 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
So I see dudes lay on the compliments to every woman on fubar, regardless of how they look...... mostly in some sort of lame attempt to get some or to feed their masturbation ego. The thing is, you can only tell a woman she's beautiful in so many ways before it has diminishing returns. By diminishing returns I mean, it has far less meaning, and therefore has far less effect. So I've decided you dudes need some basic rules to go by when talking to women, on fubar or any place else.
rule 1: pay the fuck attention! look beyond the words a woman says and figure out the attitude she wants to see.
rule 2: know that they not only talk to each other, but they stalk each other, they KNOW what you're saying to other women, things youve forgotten youve said.
rule 3: not EVERY FUCKING WOMAN is beautiful/hot/sexy if you tell every woman you think is kinda cute she's fuckin hot, she's gonna see all the other skanks you think are hot, goes with rules 1 and 2, use some originality and compliment a woman on specific things, and NOT like youre talking to other dudes about the woman, like she's right there, and could slap you at any moment.
rule 4: know when to be funny, when to be serious, and when to be a "L-I-T-T-L-E" pervy, this builds off rule 1, paying attention and acting accordingly.... this doesnt mean reacting to her actual words, but reacting to her attitude and (omgerd!) FEELINGS!
rule 5: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER say anything about or show your penis. big, small, thick, skinny, it makes no difference, you wont win or lose her vagina on your penis size. dude's with 2 inch penises still get laid (how else in the millions of generations on earth could they still exist?) the size of your dick will never keep or lose a woman, the size of your ego, different story. besides, bitches love a good mystery :P
rule 6: see rule 5........ I need to say it twice, just cuz YOU love to see big titties, doesnt mean she loves to see your cock smackin her forehead ........ when she wants to see it, she'll whip it out for ya, and if youre lucky, with her teeth.
rule 7: building off of rule 3, if she aint pretty, dont be givin the bish false hope...... learn to give compliments based on things other than looks, like a killer music collection, or if she's a cook, compliment something she's made....... every woman can be beautiful for things OTHER than looks....... besides, if that's all she's got going for her, you'll be dissappointed in 5 years.
rule 8: never ever ever ever tell a woman what youre gonna do to her sexually....... just dont say a fucking word about it, women dont get turned on hearing you want to motorboat their vag, they get turned on when you actually do it. the only exception being actual phone sex/cybering/sexting.....and when she wants that, she'll take it, you wont have a choice.
rule 9: own your words, if you fucked up, stop making excuses like (the biggest excuse) "I was just joking"........ no, motherfucker, you werent joking you were CAUGHT! If you get caught being inappropriate, own it, apologize and go away, 9 times out of 10 you can apologize and she wont even hold that shit against ya....... but if you pull the little bitch excuse making card...... youre done.
rule 10: know when to walk away, if she's not interested, she wont necessarily tell ya....... so if you dont get shit from her or she tells you to fuck yourself, dont whine about it, move the fuck on.
that's all I got for tonight folks!
