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The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Let me repeat that for you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Or better yet, do unto others better than you ever expect anybody else to do unto you. Go the extra mile. Don’t stop at satisfactory when it comes to life. Just because we are suppose to care about each other and love each other, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to have basic human kindness and respect for each other, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to value each others opinions and right to privacy, doesn’t mean we do. Just because we are suppose to put our loved ones feeling above our own, doesn’t mean we will. It is too easy to assume people know how we feel. We take for granted that just because we love them, they KNOW we love them. We automatically assume people know how important they are to us and how much we care for them, but they don’t. Just because you said it once, or once a week, doesn’t mean it carries over like clean socks. (Clean socks stay clean indefinitely until you wear them) Our emotions and our feelings are not clean socks. I’m not sure if it is human nature or human reprogramming that causes most people to always be looking out for number one. They seem to put their own wants, desires and feelings way above that of anybody else. Even our closest friends and relatives usually come second to ourselves. In my opinion, that is backwards. If we always put ourselves first, then nobody else needs to, right? If we love ourselves above all others, we don’t need anybody else to love us also, right? Wrong. If we made a rule to put others needs, wants and feelings above our own, and everybody followed suit, there would be dozens of people caring about us and our needs. Not just one. Not just yourself. If we put others before ourselves then we would get the same kindness in return from most of th people in our lives. It probably would not happen with strangers. Strangers are funny people. We are all friends to some people and strangers to some people. But it never fails to amaze me how unfriendly and rude strangers are to each other. Rude with no regard for the other persons feelings or what their personal life or home situation may be. We are so quick to be rude to fellow human beings that we do not know; to cut someone off in traffic because god knows our time is so much more valuable than anybody else. We are willing to endanger the lives of hundreds of strangers every time we get in a rush and speed to our destination. Even though, if someone else was doing the exact same thing, and ran into our car in traffic, we would be irate and want to pull their fingernails out with pliers. We see the evil and flaws in everyone else, but never see it in our own selves. We are allowed to be rude. We are allowed to speed in traffic when we are in a hurry. We are allowed to be hateful to the young cashier who ring up our order wrong because she is distracted by her own life and problems. We are allowed to be shallow and self centered. But god forbid anybody else be or do the same. Not to us. Not on my watch. If you were at, say, the doctors office and the counter girl was snippy and a bit rude to you, most people would immediately get an attitude and be rude right back. Ask yourself this; Why is she acting like that? What could be going on in her day or in her life to make her treat a total stranger with disdain and impatience? She may just be normally rude, but not usually. If you found out that she had just found out her mother or father was dying of cancer, would you react differently to her? Or if her husband just lost his job and she was about to have to take her kids out of private school and dance classes to save money, would you feel sorry for her and maybe treat her better? If you knew she herself was dying, would you overlook her rudeness and be kind back to her? Let’s assume everybody has these types of issues in their lives at any given moment, and not jump to conclusions about people. Treat people with kindness no matter how they treat you. You would be amazed at how that can affect people in a positive way. If she is being rude to you, and she knows it but she is so upset she can’t help herself, and she sees you disregarding her attitude and being kind to her anyway, can you imagine how this could possibly make her feel a little bit better about the human population in general. It comes down to the old golden rule. Always treat others how you would want them to treat you. When you are about to be rude to an older lady at the grocery store, remember that she is probably someone’s mother and how you would feel if someone treated your mother they way you are about to treat this other person. Always look at fellow human beings as just that; fellow human beings. They are someone’s mother, brother, father, uncle, cousin or wife. They could be your family. If you perform random acts of kindness and undeserved politeness to others, it does pay itself forward. Kindness is contagious whether people like it or not. When presented with a situation where your choices are to be rude back, or to be kind, always choose to be kind. It can’t hurt anything, right? It can only help. Imagine what the world would be like if for just one day everybody was kind to each other and everybody out someone else’s feelings before their own. Kindness is an amazing thing to behold, when you see it in pure form. Not the kindness most people give; the kindness that makes them look good to others, or the kindness they can brag about later. Self less kindness is a wonderful thing. When it comes to our daily lives, everything seems so BIG and so IMPORTANT. Our social lives, what we are going to do this weekend, what pre-school we are going to get our kids into, what kind of car we drive, what kind of clothes and things we own, everything seems so important. But when it comes down to the reality of it, nothing is as important as our relationships and interactions with people. If you found out YOU were dying and only had a week to live, the electric bill or those shoes on sale, or even the argument you planned to have with your spouse later, would disappear and seem so insignificant. Close your eyes and imagine you have just been told you only have one week, 7 days, to live. What is the first thing you would want to do. How would you want to spend your last week? Would you go shopping, swimming, driving around erratically in traffic, or would you pull your loved ones close and spend every waking moment with them, making sure they know how much you love them and how important they are to you? Now...think about this...You leave your house this morning on your way to drop the kids off at school and head to work, and you are hit by a speeding bus and killed instantly. Is your life in order? Are your relationships in top form? Do the people closest to you know exactly how you feel about them and how much you love them? If not, you need to get your affairs in order. I don’t mean making funeral arrangements and a will, I mean our raw human relationships, with our kids, our spouses, our close friends and relatives that are important to us. Something else a lot of people do that is not necessary is spend a lot of time trying to make sure people like them and spending untold energy on relatives and friends that are toxic people and are not really beneficial to our lives. Our lives are way too precious to waste one single moment on anybody not worthy of our possible last day on earth. If a person is in your life and they do nothing but suck the life out of you and stress you out most of the time, cut them loose. Just because someone is blood kin to you does not mean you have to keep them close to you in your life. I have friends that are closer to me than my own blood relatives. It is a matter of caring and kindness. If you look at your caller ID on your phone when it ring, and grimace at the sight of certain people calling; start to phase those people out of your life. You don’t’ have to do it all in one day, but let them know you are at a different place in your life and only want to surround yourself with people who bring joy and kindness to your heart. People will get their feelings hurt. They will get over it or they won’t, but you cannot let that concern you too much. You can be kind and still let someone know they no longer fit into your plan for your life. You can stand up and be strong and take charge of your own life and your own surroundings and yet still be kind. Being kind doesn’t mean pleasing everyone. It just means being kind while you do exactly what it is you need to do in your life. I have found it to be true that most people are actually kinder to strangers than they are to their own family. If a casual acquaintance came to your house for dinner and accidentally spilled red wine on your good rug, you would more than likely say , “Oh no, don’t worry about it, really it is no big deal”. But let one of your kids spill ketchup or kool-aid on that same rug when nobody is around. How would you react to them? Would you react the same way or a bit more harshly? We all could use some life lessons on how to be truly good people without letting anybody run over you in life and only keeping good people close. It is possible to do, with a little guidance.
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