The air exscapes my lungs and I fall to the ground to my knees. Tears start rolling down my cheek as i look up at the sky with rain hitting me in the face. I ask god why he puts so much pressure on one man and expects him to be happy. I get no answer in return, just more rain and tears. I grab my chest and and stare down to the ground. I feel the mud between my fingers and the wetness of the rain and the cold breeze. I close my eyes and think of everyone and everything and come to the conclusion that I am the cause of thier misery. I am the reason they cry. I am the man they fear. I think of going and getting my gun but that would be to quik, I need to feel the pain. I think of hanging myself but if my neck didnt snap then I would still be alive and have a slight chance of being saved. I think of takeing pills but you have to take to many and there is still a slight chance of liveing. I reach in my pocket and feel the knife between my fingers. I pull the knife out and open it. I stare at the blade, looking at the sharp edge and start thinking about slideing it down my wrist not across. I have tried doing that before and I know that slideing it across doesnt usaully work. I put the blade against my wrist and push down on it. A little blood starts rushing to the surface and rolling down my arm. I start pulling the blade twords me and watch as even more blood starts running down. I put the blade to my other arm and watch as the blood flows from my arm. I stare at the damage I have done and watch as the blood mixes with the mud and rain beneath me. I relize that just a couple cuts is not good enough so i take the blade of the knife and push it into my throat. I let the blood roll from my neck and down my body mixing with the blood on the ground and from my arm. I fall back and stare at the sky. With rain hitting me in the face and mixing with tears, I tell god "OK I AM DONE." I close my eyes and start drifting into nothing. Soon I will be a distant thought and memory to everyone who has known me or even cared about me. I smile and think to myself...I hope everyone is happy now.
