I was recently.. Ejected.. From a 2 year relationship.. Thats gone.. Like hell for the last year... Still dealing with ALOT of BS... But surviving... Chasing that next distraction. Afraid of what i'll feel like if I slow down at all. Hopelessly searching for love.. Or lust.. Wherever I can find it. And coming up screwed every time.. Everywhere... Not even a freakign rebound available to help me bounce back or cope with this shit. Cest la vie... (Such is life) I guess... I do find I always want the things I can't have the most.. But shit happens right? Everyone says it's supposed to get better. I laugh and know it'll probably always be the same shit, and am WAITING for someone to prove me wrong. The worlds to screwed today.. To corrupted.. Life's to complex. To much.. Useless BS... And drama... Put me back 50.. 100.. 200.. 1000 years ago... Gimme a sword and shield.. Or an axe... Send me rampant for some cause... I've got a hopeless Romantic Warrior's spirit... I want to believe in this mythical, overpowering love. And an willing to die trying for it. But I've been taking to many casualties lately... And the more crap thats thrown my way.. The more pissed off.. And more of an ass I become.. A vicious cycle into itself. But as long as i'm alive, and not breaking any lays.. Or hurting anyone. It's all good. So I can't be the hero i always wanted to. I'm still a survivor. No easy way out here. Thats why I love video games.. Makes me push my skills.. And limits... Jack that difficulty up.. Die a MILLION times trying... And finally making it work. Then doing it again. And again. And again. Start beating the odds on a regular basis. Never give up. Thats the only way THEY can win. Is if you give up. whoever your personal THEY may be. lol. Things may seems like their at their end. But remember.. Somewhere.. Someone.. Has it alot worse than you do right now... Yeah.. Your shit or life may be bad.. Or downright.. Terrible... But of the BILLIONS of people out there.. Someones got it worse.. And their surviving. Most don't. Some do. I want to be the latter. Never give up. Never give in... Never surrender. And if it all ends someday.. Don't take it with you... If you survive.. A hollow shell of what you once were... What was the point of fighting... Always be true to yourself. Even if you haven't really figured out who you are yet.
