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What are you waiting for?
And so this day are comming to a end. slowly but surely. I have to admit that this has not been a good one when it comes to the part about the head in this sick thing.
My mind have been everywhere and nowhere.
Am I worth it?
Can I be loved for who I am at the present time?
Is there anyone willing to sacrefice a good part of their life to be with someone like me?
Is there any hope for some happiness?
A lot of questions have been flying since I opend my eyes in the am. The other side of the *medal* given to me with this shit! Oh - yes - she used the SHIT word.
Depression is a part of this as well as the neverending and evelsating pain.
All over from inside to outside - Top to bottom. Even the hair hurts. a lot of tears have been shed today - secretly so not to worry and hurt those near. I dont want this!! I dont want ANYONE to have this. It is degrading in all ways possible and unpossible. It is a living hell and back over and over.
One minute I smile and laugh - the next Im all broken down in tears. Maybe Im best left alone and on my own? Not to be anyones burden but my own.
If I could get one wish granted it have to be to get my Normal life back.
This is eating me up and I have to say : I just want another day
Head down , sholders lower
Not feeling able to look at the world from shorter distance. Miles away... It is there - right outside my door and my window. Hurdles are WAY to high and hard to overcome. I stay here - in my Daybed and see it all pass by. One day MY sun will shine just for ME! And guess where I will be? I tell you - right there where the beams gently stroke my chin - allowing the sun to come in. Put the light back in my eyes - my smile open and wide.
Can I have than ONE single day in the sun?
