Doug to the D's blog: "The unknown?????"

11:09PM - A diary Current mood: numb Category: DON’T ASK Writing and Poetry NEW YEARS DAY 11:09PM BEGINNING TO WONDER IF I'M GOING TO HOLD ON MUCH LONGER...I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN HOLDING ON FOR A WHILE NOW ANYWAYS.DESPAIR SEEMS TO BE MY ONLY COMPANY LATELY, BESIDES WEAKNESS WHO IS ONLY GIVING SPEED TO HER COMPANY. I KNOW IN MY SPIRIT THAT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I COULD DO TO FIGHT THE URGE, BUT THE SCREAMS ARE GETTING LOUDER AND THE TIME THAT HEALS SEEMS TO BE THE VERY TIME THAT EVADES ME... WITH EACH CLICK OF THE CLOCK I GET CLOSER, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY FEAR FOLLOWING DESPAIR THOUGH I ALMOST WISH THERE WERE. THE DAYS GO BUY LIKE BULLETS, MOVING PAST ME AGONYSINGLY SLOW, AND CLOSE ENOUGH TO KILL... I WONDER,WHEN THE TIME COMES, WILL I STEP OUT OF THE WAY...OR JUST WAIT FOR IT.MY FLESH SCREAMS AS MY BRAIN BOILS IN SELF LOATHING,THE BEAST WANTS OUT.I CAN FEEL MY CHEST TEAR, HOW MUCH LONGER NOW? I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE... "EMOTIONS RIP THREW ME ON CALL AND THE BEAST PULLS THE TRIGGER" I LOOK OVER THE EDGE,LOOKS LIKE A LONG FALL, BUT NOT FOR ME, FOR THE ONE'S WHO ARE WITH ME, I KNOW THEY'LL BE THE ONE'S GOING OVER WHEN I'M GONE, I HOPE THEY CAN CLIMB BACK QUICKLY... THEY'RE THE ONLY REASON I'M HERE NOW, AND THEY'LL BE MY ONLY REGRET. IT'S GETTING CLOSER NOW I CAN FEEL IT, COMING TO TAKE THE LIFE THAT I OFFER FREELY. PAIN TAKES THE PLACE IN MY HEART WHERE LOVE USED TO BE...THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS NOW...ANOTHER DAY OF HEAVEN AND HELL..................=[ Currently listening To "Unfaithful" By "Rihanna" "SAD BUT TRUE!" I LOVE THIS SONG IT REMINDS ME OF MY EX :p GIRL. "Here's the link" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_4-zRVFLnY