Yesterday I attended the 2nd Annual Casi Chili Cookoff just to have some fun with my friend Teena! Well, the sneaky woman decided to have me become a judge and I couldn't eat chili until the judging began at 1pm. Grrr! LOL It was a fun event where there are tons of people, booths where you could buy jewelry,trinkets, salsa, toys, and much more. The event also had a handsome guy who sang country music and he was pretty good too.
The sun was shining very bright while people were walking around, music flooded the background, along with laughter. I did see a very stunning, handsome beaver on display at one of the chili contestants table. I did take a pic and not sure how it will turn out with my camera, but we will see later as I post it. I just wonder if our infamous beaver may have visited and had a bite of chili. LOL No one would give me a bite of chili especially since Teena tagged me with a collar which had these lovely words on it, "Don't feed me, I am a judge!" Now how does a Judge, judge without a taste or two? So after a few interviews Teena had for the event I decided to ask her. She states I would have preconceived judgement(LOL)before the actual judging began.....okay, fair enough.
We sit down at the Judge's table at 12:50pm it is only a mere 93f and our brows were already sweating. With two budlights, 2 teas, and a water I was ready to begin the testing along with other contestants. I hate beer....soooo, I ask the other Judges why can't we have a bit of wine instead. They started laughing at me and I couldn't understand why? LOL Okay, maybe the beer will cut the taste?
They set us each a bowl in front of us with numbers on it, I start out with F5 (no, it is not a computer marking, I think it stands for Fire 5 or Firebowl 5 and no judge could tell me) We have celery, carrots, and cheese to cut the taste in between the beer and tea. Oh, yeah! Judging is fun. We have a clean spoon for each bowl and there was 17 in all. Okay, thank God I started out with the worst one! We had to judge on consistency, aroma, color, taste, and afterburn. We rated them from 1-10 in each area, 1 being the worst and 10 being the best. The first one was burned, not from the heat of chili peppers, but scorched, the color looked great, the consistency had too much meat as it drowned out all the flavour, and the aroma was better than taste I rated it with a 4. This was the total average score for this chili.
I was thinking to myself, please let the other chili be better than that? I passed the bowl down and received F6 still concerned what that F stood for. This chili had a nice little burn, very mild, aroma was so so, consistency better, colour good. It did receive a 6 overall from me.(yes, I have my notes and score) I called it my brother's 2nd batch(meaning he is an okay cook)LOL Don't tell him! Drinking beer and chomping on celery(it cuts flavour better than ole carrots) Passing this bowl down to the next Judge, I grab my spoon for the next one F7, Okay, this one is a bit more spicy, the meat is smoked(yeah, unique and good)consistency better thus far, and colour excellent it scored a 9. Now we are talking! Good Chili and it stands out....loved the smoked meat idea.(drinking beer, adding cheese and celery to taste the next batch) Here comes F8, disappointing, it had no flavour, no spice but chili powder,colour looked strange, aroma? where? is it the next bowl waiting on me?(drinks beer,don't really need anything but a cracker this time to cut flavour...hey, i needed the cracker for flavour!)
F9 is waiting on me impatiently...don't know why I thought that, but the judge on my left seems to be getting impatient with me too as I am judging not trying to eat as I notice he keeps comparing the last chili...tsk, tsk, breaking the rules already.(kinda like a bad boy though)LOL As I lift the lid off of F9, the aroma barrels out in full force letting me know that there is a hidden treasure in it....aw, yes, I can't wait to grab my spoon! The consistency was a little more meat, but I didn't really care, as I tasted it, took in some spicy flavours, a few peppers, whew, it sure is getting hot all of a sudden, then all of a sudden there was a Thunder Clap! Some of the judges must have had too many beers as it was called lightning sounds, ligthning, someone had some serious flatulence problems...hehe, or it was the chili...hehe I have to agree it was mine, the aftertaste was rolling around as I drank a whole beer down, cut it with cheese(handful)celery, and carrots along with crackers, grabbed water, Glared at judge next to me who was glaring back as he pushed another bowl towards me, yes I have another one to taste, but before I die, I am calling 911 for a firetruck to hook up at the fire hydrant and wash this chili which I found out could have been called the devils brew itself straight from Hell! Okay, even with all that this, the chili was good and it rated a 10. Damn, those peppers had to come out of the devils own garden! I wish I had a pitchfork as I would have given Lucifer a stab or two for making me suffer...I had to wipe my brow and the judge next to me who was as pale as me looked frightened when I put that bowl in front of her and said to her, it is full of surprises!(yes, I think fear is a good indication without saying what I really thought about it. hehe
F10(I was worried after I drank a beer and another one was set down in front of me. I thought oh, my God, this is why these people like to judge these contests....so they can get drunk and feel no pain anymore!)I looked at this chili still pondering over the fire I had just put out, thinking do I have anymore taste buds left?) I opened the lid slowly and trying not to be fooled again by a sweet aroma which seemed to seep out of this one. Consistency was good and colour and here goes the taste, slowly I lift spoon towards lips and I noticed my lips are starting to be a bit rebellious as they quiver in fear. Here goes. I taste and what????There is chili powder and a few peppers, heat is not so bad this time, but there is cinnamon and sweet flavour? Who taught this person to cook? I know they were from Ohio...as they are the only people I know who put cinnamon in Chili!!! Good God Save the Queen! Oh, I meant president...nah, let him eat the chili maybe it might infuse better judgement upon our land! Yes, I was thinking it was politics at the time...it was a war in that chili!!! Impeach this cook!!! rating 6.....consistency and colour is what brought that score up....someone hide cinnamon from 70 percent of the people, please....do not sell this spice without a qualification for it!
F11 Still I am scared as I have no idea why people enter contests like this in case they are hoping for alcoholics or the judges to be drunk when we taste theirs....I am feeling a buzz a bit after F9 still. I open lid and smell a hint of heat(not temperature wise, but pepper wise..)consistency is not enough meat, too thin, hey we aren't having sloppy joes are we? Still scared as I know what was in that aroma...smelled like a red jalapeno...lifting spoon to mouth as it is really quivering in fear....okay, the judges have laughed at me a few times as it is hard to disguise what is going on with this stuff....Yes, in goes the spoon and I want to kick the devil in his.....you fill in the blank...I knew it, here it comes going down my hatch, waving frantically while getting beer to mouth, begging for another one quick! Grabbed dish of cutting flavour and wondering if someone has some of that sugared chili to cut the heat....this one is past the Hades border...ridiculous! Some people should be banned from chilli's and all kinds of spices...this one had heat, but the flavour must have been burned out of it with all the flipping peppers...i don't care anymore...someone make me Queen so I can have this cook banned from all stoves and gardens! My eyes are watering like mad and uncontrollably, sweat pouring out of my head. Oh, gawdddd...do I have a tongue left...drank the rest of that beer and started the next one, the tea did not help out all....no water, no firetruck or fireman to quench my thirst. Judge on left still glaring, I want to steal his beer. I only have one chili bowl and why is he glaring...I know all of their tongues are on fire for this one...the judge on right looks really worried now. I swear I saw her twisting rosary beads....or my eyesight is really cockeyed after that flipping fire! rated 4. I was being nice....fair is not good as it really should have been given a 2 for putting me through that.
F12....my tongue is quivering, eyes still crying uncontrollably,and my tongue is actually scorched, I think I feel some numbness there too! Carefully lifting lid of f12...I swear f is for fire. Smelling cautiously and noticed it is not too bad from aroma. Tongue is slightly cheering and cautiously wondering if this is caustic or not? Consistency perfect, colour needs a bit of help here...Tomato sauce, please??? Tasting and my tongue is cheering because of less heat...a little, but not too bad, flavour not bad, almost good enough to present to God on the throne....it deserves a 9 overall. Yeahhh, my tongue is cheering...but my eye is twitching from that last batch still and I have finally quit crying.
F13 the judge on my left is still tallking to me a bit...and I thought beer was supposed to make people look better....not in my case....he said he thought I wasn't going to make it a few chilli's back...(is this the place where I should kick him in the shin?)while he mentions he thought he was going to have to perform CPR....yeah, keep thinking mister! LOL Maybe the beer is making him seem nicer....? Average chili I could buy this one in a can...hey, is it? Overall rating 6
F14 I think the beer is getting to judge number 6 on my left....he keeps talking nice to me now or maybe I am keeping up with him on chili finally...if it is average, yeah, hurry it up and move it down...lol I want to give all of these chefs a fair chance....nice aroma, surprising kick, colour perfect, and consistency a little thicker on the meat...not bad, like it that the aroma fooled me in the small kick of peppers and seasoning. Rated 9
F15 I hate beer! But it does cut flavour though along with celery...yes, I like this rabbit food with some cheese...This chili is perfect and trying to think of the one I had before with too much kick I rated a 10 overall too....hmmm, was that a trick from Lucifer? This chili overall made me think of romance, spicy, with about 3 peppers....yes, i can distinctively tell for some reason with this one, consistency was a bit thicker, aroma perfect, colour great. Yes, this one can be served to God without a fear of conspiracy in the midst. Awww,finally....
F16 Feeling pretty good now and looking forward to the next chili....lifting lid happily...OMG! You have to be kidding...no, no, no! Not again! This aroma is scaring me and I just want to judge now! -1...I can see the flames in my eyes....this should be against the law...this person should be sentenced to a life of being a vegetarian....please someone save me! I quickly call over to the person shoveling the beers out....I whispered bring me one quick. I shovel this chili quickly in my mouth and do not want it to stop on my palate...I can't drink until it looks like I am thinking about aftertaste...I have no aftertaste...it is all before and as of now taste!!! Help!!! Where are those firemen....the judge on the left is grinning now at me as my eyes are crying in agony, silently wishing this would all stop! Tongue is pissed at me, okay, CPR maybe needed and maybe the judge who offered before maybe willing to do it and prayerfully he is certified? I think I hear waves of laughter around the table...I maybe passing out from this intense heat...there is no flavour but heat!!!! 3 overall....grrrr! Judge 4 looks scared as she was going through flashes a while ago too after I suffered....she looks like she is going to bolt from the table. After drinking huge amount of beer, celery and cheese gulped down, I put my hand on her arm and try to reassure her I only have 3 tastebuds left. She starts laughing and is probably preparing for the worst experience of her life I am sure! I think where is the center of the earth's core??
F17 I told judge on left to please kindly open my lid for me as I think I need help now....arm seems a bit wobbly...he laughed and said it was the beer and wasn't it amazing how we can still tell the difference in the chili....I don't know if I like him again....hmmmm, I take in aroma, seems mild and safe enough for children....spoon is shaking...I taste, touchdown! It is mild, colour was not great, consistency was okay, taste bland.....but still children are safe to eat this one. overall rating 6
F1 I am hoping this one gives me a chance to survive....everything seems fine with aroma...heavy on chili powder...not a bad heat from aroma...tasting carefully...okay a bit spicy with seasoning and a little pepper or two added...it did not taste to unique from chili I have had before....but rated pg 13 on spice account...rated 7
F2 I really don't want anymore chili after the experience I have had so far...I am thinking thus far into the contest, but oh, well...here goes the lid. Okay, it seems safe, but has a very nice rosey aroma...nah, can't be, not in chili....come on people...rose petals and other flowers I know are good in somethings...but chili? Maybe it is the beer....I want to smell it again, just to make sure, but can't...darn rules...Okay, spicy, heat, and rose petals do not belong...did I just have a hair in this one....?? rated 5 overall...this chef should be in culinary arts school....I feel sorry for their children for having to eat this...
F3, lifting the lid not knowing what is going to happen next....yep, I knew it had been a while...I opened up Pandora's box....eyes are still twitching from the last batch that had boxed up fire in it....my tongue is watering in fear not so much for tasting...here it goes...judge on left started laughing when he gently placed bowl in front of me...oh, yeah...packaged dynamite! Fireworks are going on in my mouth...flavour is great though, consistency perfect, so is colour....why, oh why? I am beginning to think Teena is getting revenge on me for something...hmmm...she is the organizer of this event (which is for charity)one I support fully too! Is she trying to convince me this is fun? I did my frantic waving the people already are coming to myself and judge 4 on my right...there are only 11 judges...there are only 3 of us who seem to not keep our emotions controlled like these other experienced ones..hehe Judge 6 I think is the devils cousin as he keeps telling me to down more beer it gets easier with time...he made a comment in a sexual connotation...hmmm, make note if I do this again not to sit by this heartless man! I cannot make light of this chili and I am about to explicitly tell him in a minute as I am not thinking of anything but becoming a nun with this chili! LOL overall rating 7
F4 chili...the last one to judge...still crying from last batch and how many beers did i drink totally? Tongue needs help like first aid I am sure...cannot be sure if it will taste food again as this put a strain on my connectedness to it...I may need to call a mortuary to have it buried....? Please God, let the last one be perfect without too much heat in spiciness and peppers....less than 3 peppers would be perfect as I think the last chili had every pepper in the world that has heat....judge 6 is teasing me about the last supper for some reason....I wonder if he meant with heat and this would be my end...I want to borrow Judge 4's rosary and start praying too!!! Where is a temple close by? I will take anything to be saved from my end right now...I whisper to Judge 6 to Tell me what he rated his and I won't take the taste so his score will be stronger...told him to notice eye is twitching, he starts laughing and says I am winking...I said, okay, whatever...he said, he had to be fair...hehe Now he wants to be fair....I look at the last bowl of chili....lift lid cautiously....smell...not really bad in aroma....nice hint of spiciness and a pepper or two...I hope! I taste looking over at judge 6 and told him to prepare for CPR just in case, I taste it, it is over finally...no, I have not died and went to heaven! It was a bit spicy and maybe 3 peppers....a bit hot, flavourful, consistency too much meat...people lay off the cows...what did they do to you? Okay safe enough and a better end than I thought of rating 8. Safe for most people to eat...rating past R...no children required for this one...restricted to anyone over the age of 17.
Fun day! Overall....I did not leave in an ambulance....buzzing a bit too...I went to get a pedicure, manicure, along with eyebrow waxing...groan...another story I will save for later...
