The crumbs to my oreo (aka the thoughts in my brain) :D Blog by Paper Angel
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They laugh with true passion
They live from the  heart
Their endurance of will
Challenged from the start

Their smiles are wide
With words unrehearsed
Their love is so grand
I forget of their curse

Their innocence is true
No judgment within
With courage and hope
This battle they'll win

My heroes are children
Fighting to live
Because even in torment
They have something to give

 

 

 

This plot is pure chaos

Missing scenes, missing parts

We’ve reached our resolution

Before our story starts

 

The conflict and the fighting

The climax of our lives

The tragedy of our words

Scream we won’t survive

 

All our sadistic memories

Make us who we are

All our filthy thoughts

Won’t get us very far

 

We improvise the laughter

The smiles they are fake

We paint our selves a comedy

When reality we cant take

 

This theme of pain is horrid

The irony of our fate

This symbol of love is awful

Two hearts filled up with hate

 

Our simile of happiness

Like sunshine in the night

The metaphor of love

A necklace worn too tight

 

Our dialogue is broken

You won’t talk to me

My monologue is lost

And I’m left my soliloquy

 

No chance to show my feelings

No chance to make amends

Misplaced from the beginning

No chance of being friends

 

Your satire is discarded

Your act of chivalry

This paradox is twisted

This life reality

 

If these words are speaking

Then you personify them too

This love’s a flower wilting

As I am to you

 

Your  words they  shoot the poison

As my  leaves  fal to the ground

My voice locked in a prison

A waste of useless  sound

 

This onomatopoeia

The pow when we began

Foreshadowed me an ending

I couldn’t understand

 

The flowers and the kisses

Disguise your hidden scheme

Your cruel and violent passion

Is worse than any dream

 

The hindsight of our future

Will never  be  exposed

And our denouement

Will  bring our  final  close

 

We can not keep from fighting

Without biting off our tongues

These words we hear are toxic

Like acid in our lungs

 

As I come to think

Figurative language is a lie

It’s twisting the truth

Just like you and I

This dream isn’t ending
I can’t open my eyes
I’m living a nightmare
Drowning in lies

I’m kicking and screaming
Reaching for air
But I get to the surface
And no oxygen’s there

Choking and spitting
Not able to breathe
I see through the water
You turn to leave

You said that you loved me
You said that you cared
But in the end
You still were not there

I try to call out
Screaming you name
But no one did hear me
And you never came

There are chains on my ankles
Pulling me down
This water is muting
You can’t hear a sound

I fight the restraints
I try to break free
But my strength is fading
And I sink into the sea

My hair is swirling
Blurring my view
My last lucid thoughts
Were thinking of you?

I loved you so dearly
I tried not to hide
But I messed it all up
When I went and lied

I told all these lies
And tangled a muddle
I ran from myself
And drowned in a puddle

My friends they are my writing jotted down in pen;
and as the years go on our stories all begin.
Ashley is the  thoughts... unprdictable and unsure;
always holding  back whats inside of her.
Melissa is the reason... the  feeling in my heart;
if it werent  for her im sure life would  fall apart.
Warren is my writting .... neat but sloppy too;
and if im ever bored there's somthing we can do.
Jeremy is the meaning always there and great;
always and insperation but running somewhat late.
I, I am the writer,  that has no  regrets;
and with my many friends, this is as good as it gets.

My family is a nightmare; that starts out as a dream.
Like a family portrait, not all is as it seems .
My father is reality slipping out of  reach;
pesimistic views is all he'll ever  preach.
My mother is the fear, the panic, and the rage;
never slipping up this  world is her stage.
My sister is the breathing speeding up and  down.
She's  forever  restless; her  head is  never bound.
My  brother is the twitching, the tosses, and the turns;
always wanting  back the  bridges that  he burns. 
And I, I am the dreamer watching as it grows;
as the night is ending...and my dreams come to a  close.

ok so this is a  story im  working  on  wanna  give me some feed  back  please?

    "Hit me.” She says looking at a man sitting on the corner of their mattress in their small master bed room. He has dark hair and dark loving eyes. When his face is shaved, you can see he resembles Tom Cruise.

    “No.” He replies looking into her eyes with confusion.

    “Hit me.” She commands with more authority in her voice than she had before. He stands from his position on the bed and takes a step toward the woman.

    “I can not do that. Why do you want me to hit you?” He reaches for her wrists hanging by her side as he continues. “Bella? Are you ok ? Did something go wrong at your mothers house ?” Bella pulls her wrists away and takes a step back as she looks down from his face she can not look at his face.
    “Why can’t you just do as I ask and hit me?” She lowers her voice to almost a whisper. Her head raises and she makes eye contact. His eyes are filled with confusion, worry, love, and the compassion that no one has ever show to her as much as he has. She quickly looks away she can not force herself to see how much this is hurting him. He takes another step toward Bella. Her head hangs down letting her long dark brown bangs become a curtain to her face. He reaches out his hand and gently places his thumb on her chin and his fingers beneath the bone and lifts her face to look at him.
    “ Because I love you Bell.” He says it with such certainty she takes a step back and studies his face. He’s not lying she knew it before he told her. She doesn’t understand why its shocked her so much at this very moment but it did. She looks into the face of the man that she loves and loves her in return. She couldn’t ask him again, she could see that it would kill him if he ever thought about raising his hand to her. She looks away.
    “ Fine.” She whispers. “ I’ll do it myself.” She turns and walks out of the room. He follows her to the living room. He can not let the woman he loves get harmed when he could very well prevent it. She stops abruptly in front of the mirror above the couch raises her hand and smacks it to the side of her face. The force from the hit makes tears swell in her eyes.
    The man grabs her and pulls her to him just before her open hand goes back to strike again. She struggles to get free, but she can not. The tears swell in her eyes as she tries to push and pull her way out of the arms restraining her. She slowly becomes weak and she lets her legs give out. He lowers to the floor with her letting his restraint fall away. She begins to sob. Sounds with her tears, they can now be heard.
    She reaches out for him and buries her head in his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her and tries to comfort her with the embrace she is longing for. He runs his fingers through her hair, and every so subtly rocks from side to side. Slowly putting his wife Bella to sleep.

 

why is it every  time someone calls me  gorgous ...beautiful ... or even  pretty i have such a hard time  beleiving  them.... its not  so much  with the  pretty i kno im pretty.... but im  not  beautiful and im FAR from  gorgous...... i just  dont  understand




i wish i could see what  they see

Idk i jsut  dont kno

been a little  depressed lately ... well alot  depressed actually .... but i keep  telling myself ill be fine

i just ... its so hard wen my  dad  came home i knew it was going to  be hard i knew it  but i dont think i was  ready i wish i had some one to talk to  not over  the net or  on the  phone  somone to  REALLY  talk to  to hug ME and tell ME  its all  goignto  be ok.... its so hard when im doing all of this my sister  cant  take it shes 'weak' as  some  would say she cries  she cant stand to see my dad like this  and my mom  she's  exhosted and  gets aggitated too easily to really HELP alot .... so  it  leaves me i help  alll the  time  i bring  him his  water   help him to the  bathroom  help him get  situated  fix his  pillows  get his food  cover him up  get  his  meds ...im up and  down all night getting  him  what  he  needs ....  i do it and i was right there  holding his hand last night  when he  hurt so  bad he  cried ...  and  it was so hard not to  cry too .... but i couldnt let myself becasue my dad  needs  me and he needs me to  be strong .... i am strong and .. .this is hard ....

today  i yellled and i shouldnt have  i should  have  bit my tongue he  needs  me i shouldnt  argue i should  give any one a  hassle but  ITS SO HARD  it feels like im  doing it alone and to see my  dad like this its  heartbreaking  it hurts.


and to think that his pain may never  go away ....its hidious  and devistating.



im so depressed i really just  ughhhh  i want to go to sleep and just  sleep forever  or at  least until January cause then my dad  will be  better


 i want some one to  talk to i want someone to  lean on i want some one HERE with me


I want  Jeremy I want  Melissa i want  to take away his  pain i want my family's problems to  be solved.


God?.... help

Fingernails and broken spine

I lay here and say I'm fine

Lay here bleeding feeling bleeding pain

Drowning slowly in the rain

Scream and cry and push and shove

Take me make me feel me love

Show me truth now in your heart

Don't drift away don't depart...

Don't leave me here all alone

Don't disregard all that I've shown

Believe that thunder in the skies,

See the truth behind my lies

In the night we'll drift ashore

As we fight eternal war

Hear my heart beat see my tears

Look around I shatter mirrors

The person here is some one else

The real me hidden on a shelf

I don't know where I am or who to be

All that I know is I am not me

Off and on a fight inside

Makes me want to run and hide

Close my eyes and turn away

I'm lost at what I'm so post to say

I've lost my lines and failed my part

And now my mask has fallen apart

Left revealed I hide my face

For I have never had a place

I've lied and lied I can not lie any more

because my body's on the floor

I was fake outside inside not much from dead

now I lie here things left unsaid

my hearts not working my bloods not a flow

and you wonder why I had to go

I tell you now I'm just a fake

so in the end REALLY who did I take ??

Am I gorgeous?

Am I tall?

Am I beautiful at all?

Am I strong?

Am I weak?

Should my eyes they never leak

Should I walk?

Should I run?

Should I go out and have some fun?

Should I dance?

Should I sing?

Should my hand bare a ring?

Should I be happy?

Or be sad?

Should I go and hug my dad?

Should I laugh?

Should I smile?

Should I go to sleep a while?

Should I hide?

Should I run?

Should I say I have begun?

Should I stop?

Should I go?

Should I already know?

Should I trust?

Should care?

Should all of this be fair?

Do I dream?

Do I wake?

Do I have to eat the cake?

Am I crazy?

Am I real?

Are these things what I should feel?

Ask a question.

Leave a mark.

Don’t sit lifeless in the dark.

Make a move

Turn on the light

Be surprised at your new sight

Are you happy?

Are you there?

Do you really truly care?

Are you laughing?

Are you confused?

Do you feel like you’ve been used?

Am I worth it?

Am I here?

Should I even have this fear?

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