Grateful Dharqe BarBie's blog: "Thoughts"

I was sitting in the coffee shop alone reading a book the other day . I noticed just a few booths up a lady , probably in her 60's , doing just as I was. She looked sad, her face looked as if it had not smiled in many years. Huge cloud of smoke around her head as she took yet another long drag off her menthol 100. I wondered her story. I pictured where each line of her tired face may have began. Had she loved and loss . Does she go home each night to an empty house and a memory of the man she loved who has long since passed. Do her children not write or call. Or does she muddle through life waiting for the next holiday to feel loved. Was she as I am , just alone. Gave up trying after so many broken hearts. Figuring one more would be the one that would finally shatter her soul. Easier to be alone than to be yet again made a fool.I picture her more the type that just never found love . She didn't appear to be that feminists strong type. You know the ones who fill the room with their presence, Her shoulders hung to low. She oozed a sadness you could see.  Her pain was very clear in her eyes. I went back to my reading but my mind continued to wander back to her story. You could tell at one time she was a knock out. The beauty was still there but hidden under lifes cruel scars.  I realised in that very moment this may be my life, that I may just never find love. I may be someday that lady in the coffee shop that catches your attention as you sip your coffee and wonder my story . Will I never have that person in my life to make memories with or will I lose that some one and be left with just the memories to get me by. As I walked to the counter to pay for my coffee I realised I would much rather have loved and lost and to have those memories then to give up now and never know what I may have missed. I payed for my coffee and the ladies as well and in my mind as I walked to my car I thanked her for helping me find strength to continue on life's path and to always remain open to love. Because one day  I rather be that lady in the coffee shop who has a trace of a smile as she remembers coming to that same place and having pie , coffee and pleasant conversation with the man she loved than to be the lady staring out the window sipping coffee and dreaming of what could have been.