It was now late night and I laid down on the cot in the sleeping room. The day had been hectic and yet I knew that it was possible that the night would hold more work for all of us. I listened to the rain as it pounded down against the metal roof of our station. Some of the crew sat at the far end of the room playing cards, some sat reading and others jjust lounged about. Supper was over and all the dishes had been done and taken care of. I closed my eyes and recounted the events of the day, searching for any little thing that I could have changed to make the day a little easier.
Downstairs under us was all the equipment that we needed to handle our jobs as the fire engines were parked and awaiting the next call. Our personal gear was all hanging and waiting for us along the sides of the bays. Our fire company was one that everyone supported everyone and were always there when others needed them. This made it easy for me to dress and make it to work each day, knowing that if I was not there then the others would have to take up my work. One of the new guys came over and sat on the cot next to mine and started to talk. I never stopped them from asking questions as it was the only way that they would learn. Who knows it may be the way that I might save their life one day, passing on my experience. I had grown close to this rookie firemen many years before and having watched him enter and complete schooling had me as proud as it did all the rest of us. There was something special about this one and I knew it deep in my heart.
He asked me about the calls and was telling me how much the day had worn on his mind. I could see in his eyes the pain of having seen the bodies of a family brought out of a burned down building. Everyone always told me that it gets easier but having been on the job the time I had I did not see anything easy about it. I assured him that there was nothing that we could have done that would have saved any of them. I watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek as he sat there in the quietness. I reached across and gently wiped the tear away before it could fall to the floor. I wondered in my own mind if he was strong enough to handle this job. I did not question his physical capabilities but the mental toughness that it took. I knew one thing for certain and that was that only time would tell as he cut his own path through his chosen career.
Our peaceful night was violently interrupted as the alarm blared, signaling another emergency. I stood and looked at him for a second before we both turned and headed to our equipment. We soon pulled out on the street and in the dead of the night we sped off to an unknowing emergency, praying that it was nothing major. My mind kept going back to that young fireman and I wondered how he was really doing. I only wished that the night had been uneventful and we had had more time to talk. I tried to reassure myself that he would be all right and would work past the troubling events. I felt the truck lean as we tirned a corner and up the street we could see flashing lights. The radio was overflowing with department chatter now as each truck was directed to a certain place. Our equipment was soon dispersed and my team moved up front to battle a mighty blaze that had engulfed a large structure.
I held tightly onto the hose as it shot a stream of water upward and onto the building. Directing the hose I shot the water thru an opening where a window had once been. This would be a fight that would last for a lengthy time as we fought to control it. More vehicles arrived behind us, lending more fighters to the fire. I could hear parts of the large building as it gave in to a fiery death, crashing downward as walls caved in and parts of the roof collapsed. I had one ear glues to the radio, listening as our chief talked to each of our teams. Down the line he went asking each if they were all right or needing anything. I acknowledged his call and returned my attention to the battle we waged. Horror then struck me as again and again the radio blared with the Captain's voice, "Team four, team four respond." I listened and there was just the crackling of the radio.
Something had happened to team four for sure as no one was responding. I had witnessed them headed around to the back side of the building as we arrived. What was really hurting was that the very young firefighter that had earlier sat next to me crying was a member of that team. I wondered what could have happened, as horrid thoughts started to fill my mind. I knew I would not feel right until I knew if the team was alright. I turned as the captain walked slowly towards me, seeing in his eyes the worry that also filled me. He asked if we had heard from the team and I shook my head. Nothing had been seen of them or heard from them since they had taken up their positions. Suddenly a crackle of the radio and I heard a panic filled voice. I listened intently as words that a fire fighter fear filled the night. I lifted my radio to my ear to block all the surrounding noise and I heard it again, "This is team four we are trapped."
The captain asked their position and their situation and as we listened more and more horror flowed into us. Their lives were in immediate danger and they were now fighting just to stay alive. I looked at the captain and his thoughts were same as mine. I ran from team to team pulling firefighters from them to forma rescue team. Soon we were headed to here team four had been dispatched and as we rounded the building a large section came crashing down in front of us. Stopping dead in our tracks we looked at each other and then went on. The heat from the roaring fire was intense as it burned out of control. Around another corner we went and I stopped dead in my tracks as I looked at the massive pile of debris that burned there. This is where team four had been dispatched and from the looks of things many things had gone bad.
We approached the site carefully now as I wondered what had trapped the team, making it impossible for them to get to safety. Hoses were now trained on the pile of burning debris, formed when the whole back of the house had collapsed. I switched my frequency in my radio to emergency channel and called, hoping that team four would respond but there was only silence. Again and again I tried to call, praying and hoping that I heard something. Suddenly in the night I heard a voice, a person was crying out for help. Immediately I ran towards the sound. Approaching the fire I could see him laying there, his legs trapped as the flames lapped at him. Quickly we went into action, dousing him in water while we worked to free him. I gave him my mask so that he could breath clean air, hopefully keeping him alive until he was freed.
Finally we could see his trapped legs and right away I knew it as not good. I looked down at him and smiled as reassuringly as I could muster, letting him know he would be alright. Soon we were lifting him free from the pile of rubble and turning, we saw that already a medical team had arrived with stretchers. It was an unspoken bond that had been formed many years before as emergency medical and fire fighters became a family. My heart pained to see a young firefighter, just beginning their career in so much agony. I looked down at his legs as they laid him on the stretcher, preparing to move him. I could see his foot hung limp, not responding to the muscles in his upper leg. There was no doubt in my mind that it was broken and probably in more then one place.
A tear ran down y cheeks as they lifted his stretcher and started towards the ambulance that had been brought to us. I looked at the chief as he stood there with a blank stare. I heard nothing around me now as silence filled my world. I pained as a mother would every time one of my coworkers would get hurt, wanting to protect them all. The chief looked into my eyes and with a nod he said, "Yes, go and be with him and comfort him as much as you can. I nodded and with my helmet tucked under my arm, face stained with the soot from the fire I turned and went to the ambulance. As I climbed into the back, sitting on the bench along side my fellow firefighter, I reached down and took his hand. I heard the doors close and locked in our own world now I listened to the sirens begin their warning as it pierced the night. I could feel the rocking of the ambulance as we made each turn taking us to the local trauma center, where doctors would work to save this brave young mans life and limbs.
The siren died and the vehicle came to stop as I knew we had arrived. The back doors flew open as the medical staff had been called and waited there for us. Busily they pulled the stretcher from the ambulance and placed it on a gurney and raced off. I climbed down from the ambulance and walked into the hospital, following the group of doctors and nurses that were with the young hero. Anyone that stood and served the public was a hero in my mind and those that gave personal sacrifices I carried deep in my heart. I watched as the double doors opened and closed as the group went through them, knowing I would not be able to follow. I searched around quickly for a place to sit and wait for any news that they would bring to me about his condition. This young man, with so much life in front of him was now fighting for his own. I closed my eyes and prayed for him in silence. I walked up to the nurses station there in the trauma center to ensure that they knew I was there and waiting for the doctor to come out and give e the news. The nurse sitting behind the counter looked at me and smiled and said, "We know who you are, you are the mother hen to all these brave men in uniform, they think the world of you." I stood there motionless, letting the words she had just spoken seep into my mind.
I turned and as I walked away I nodded and thought, Their mother hen, yes I guess that I am as I love each one of them dearly and would do anything for them. A warmth filled me then as I knew I had a respected purpose in life, one that I would always cherish. I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes, reliving the incident of the night, wondering if I could have done anything different to save that team from injury. A long time ago I remembered the talk with the chief after I was bashing myself unmercifully over a comrades death, knowing in my mind that I had caused it somehow. He had told me that it was the angels of the firemen that watched over them and if they were told it was their time then there was nothing anyone could do about it. I had felt that very angel a few times when I was in dangerous situations and they had always led me to safety. I watched the large clock on the wall as minutes fell slowly past followed by hours, sitting there waiting as I refused to leave until I at least saw my comrade was alright.
I was just dosing off as I heard the double doors open and I turned with anticipation. I watched as a doctor and a nurse walked up to the nurses station and talked with the attendant that sat behind the desk. I watched as she lifted up and looked over in my direction and pointed to me. My heart raced as I knew I would now have news on what was going on and how bad the injuries were. The doctor reached out his hand as he approached and ushered me over to a chair in the corner where we could talk in semi private. I listened to everything he said, soaking it into my mind and making sure he answered any questions I had. The things he told me tore at my heart as I thought of that brave man beyond them doors with my only thought of being there with him and holding him in my arms. The doctor finished explaining and then he paused. I looked at him and wondered if there was something that he was not telling me. He looked in my eyes in silence and then said, "He is asking for you, has been since we brought him in." Those words warmed my heart as I knew that I was in his thoughts.
The doctor rose and waited for me as he led me down the long polished hallway of rooms where patients were kept. With each step the anticipation grew until we stopped in front of his room. I could see nurses still working over him as the made him as comfortable as they could. I walked past the doctor and entered his room, his head turning as I entered. Our eyes met and I fought back the tears that were building, thanking God that he had survived this ordeal. The nurses finished one by one and left the room. As the last nurse, left horror filled me as standing there looking at this hero there was something wrong. I could not see anything under the blankets from his waist down. Immediately I turned as my heart wanted to scream. My eyes came face to face with the doctors and he silently asked me to be strong. I was furious that he had not told me before I came in here so I could be prepared.
I knew that the time was now for me to be strong and reassuring. I knew there would be many rough roads lying ahead for him and yet there was no complaining as he turned and looked at me. I watched as he held out his hand and motioned for me to come to him. Slowly I moved closer as if a magnet was drawing me towards him. Suddenly I saw him smile and his hand held mine, squeezing it ever so gently. I leaned down and kissed his forehead as my hand ran down the side of his face. He caught my hand and held it against him. In a lot tone I heard him say, " It will be alright mom, I will be fine do not worry." I broke into tears as he tried to comfort me, letting me know that he was not going to back down from the challenges that laid ahead. My son was definitely strong willed and I knew in my heart that if anyone could overcome this obstacle it would be him. I stood there as we held hands and looked at each other, the unspoken love we had for each flowing freely between us.
He took a deep breath and said, "Mom I knew that I would lose both of them when I laid there in that rubble, praying that I would be found and rescued. When I looked up and saw you there I knew I was going to be alright. I told the doctor not to tell you what had happened as I wanted to tell you myself." His words filtered into my mind and I could feel a small smile fighting to replace the stern look I knew covered my face. I assured him that I would be there for him every step of his recovery. I would not give up until I was sure that he could do or get done everything he would need in life. I looked down his body and I could see that his body stopped just below his hips, stubs for where once strong thighs had once been. My son the one that I had tried to persuade not to follow in my footsteps was laying there, physically only part of the man he used to be. He was a true hero in my book and I knew that he would fight as hard as he had fought any fire in his short time as a full time firemen. Our life would start another journey together on this very night, one that I would gladly take with my own personal hero, my son.
© Tall Mountain Dreamer May 1, 2008
