There is no cure for whats killing me, and the parts that are broken can never be repaired.
I hate so much that I cannot feel love, and sometimes I think that I dont want to!
Or does such a thing even exist?
Is love something invented by cruel people to make me feel empty and alone?
Sometimes at night as i lay awake painful thoughts enter my head, thoughts of anger, revenge and death.
At times I think my only reason to live, is to attain retribution on those who have hurt me.
To make everyone pay for my pain, and force them to realize that I have become their "ideal"
I dont want to be like them, in turn I want them to be like me!
After years of conforming to their idea of "normal", I have realized there is no "normal"
I feel as if Im being betrayed, by those who call me their friend.
Falsely smiling in my presence, but all the while plotting my demise!
When I enter the room kind words drip from their lying mouths like honey, yet as i exit those same mouths spew forth a poision that i can feel searing my flesh!
Why do they hate me so?
Is it because they fear that the ugliness that exist outside of me, lives inside each of them?
Ive been scarred extremely deeply both physically and emotionally, although the damage to my exterior will never compare to whats burried within!
Maybe someday this world wont be so brutal, and i wont be so full of hate.
Untill then, Ill fight to be an individual no matter what my so called peers might say.
But there is an exit here, a way for a brave, yet self destructive fool to escape this tourment.
The only question left to ponder is; can the devil hurt me more than my past, or is here my real hell?
