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Hello fu friends, sittin here bored and figured id share some thoughts and happenings with you. So as most of you know by that lovely annoying birthday alert feature that my bday is saturday..woohoo! Now im super excited about it for several reasons but then a lot of things hit me that i suppose i just decided to ignore. Let me explain a little....So im going to be 30 and i truly believe that these will be my best years yet and you know what, they will be. However today out of the blue it hit me that my brother took his life one week after he turned 30 and whats even weirder is that his birthday had fell on a saturday too and it was one week after on a saturday that he died. Now i know this has no relevance but rather a huge odd coincindence but it still makes me think of him and brings me back to that place all over again of "wtf was he thinking". Then i think how sad it is that im so happy at the exact moment in his life when he so wasnt. In a way i almost feel guilty about the difference between my life and his but although its hard to pull myself out of that thought process i know that he would want me happy and that even though his life stopped mine has to go on.

Ok so ive got that off my chest now so ill share some happy things with you. My daddy has decided that he wants to come up and visit me and the girls for my bday :). He lives in Ga so i never get to see him, as a matter of fact ive not seen him since my brother's funeral. He is also bringing my step- mom this time whom i love and adore as my own mother and ive not seen her in over 5yrs since i moved up here. Im most excited about her seeing the girls because they have grown so much and im so proud of them, i just wanna show them off. Maybe its childish but it makes me all warm and fuzzy that for the 1st time since i was a baby im going to be with both my mom and my dad on my birthday lol. Ive always said i was a dork, get over it. What else...oh yeah so my friends have decided that i need to have a bday party and i absolutely agree because the last 2yrs i was unable to walk do to surgeries and i did nothing but sit at home in the bed with casts on my leg. Hmm i know im missing something,....OH YEAH!! So my best friend whom is unable to get pregnant on her own for lots of medical reasons and has been trying for almost 2yrs now with her hubby..is PREGGERS :) her 1st ultrasound is aug 5th. Now she is the last of us to have a kid so everybody is very excited and happy for her, especially me because im having really bad baby fever...anyway im anxious to find out if there is only one in there simply because she has been taking pills, doing the shots, going to the doctor every month and we all know that most of the women who do that have multiple births..:0 I told her if she produces a litter id gladly take one..lol

Well thats all i have for now...

Thanks 4 Reading

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