As I approached the lounge the haze of dope smoke and and stale beer hit me like a wall of force. All of the usual people were already there. No one was going to miss
"The Battle of the Century" as both combatants had repeatedly trashed talked and gathered their supporters. Tiny plastic sombrero's worn by loyal Slay followers mingled with the toilet seat wearing Bassites in a sea of human filth that would have made caligula stiff.
I settled down with my trusty Gin and tonic, a ready supply of buds and the bong,
picking a table close to the action but not close enough to be sprayed with fecal matter or ball sweat
the contest started off with a barrage of insults from DJ Slay, wearing the fateful sombrero of metal fury. He made several allusions to Bass's incontinence and the
many stains on his tidy whities. then proceeded to assault the ear drums of those gathered with some brutal fucking metal.
After two hours of ear bleeding metal and enough insults to make a midget wanna grab a hammer, he handed the air to his worthy opponent.
The crowd waited in quiet intensity wondering about the opening of Bass's first
salvo.
Several jaws dropped along with many a half full beer as the strains of 80's rock forgettables Survivor's "eye of the tiger" filled the silence.
Thinking he had gone quite mad, i reached for my trank rifle about to pump him full
of big game tranquilizers and escort him from the booth.
But then like the Walter Cronchite of metal that he is he interrupted the 80's groove with his trademarked gravel eating/ weezy jefferson tone and proceeded to claim victory before even the first of the metal was played.
Two more hours of Shit talking and metal so brutal the UN accused the lounge of Crimes Against Humanity followed.
In the end the only real winner were the people who had been here for this unusual treat.
Keep it up you two. you make me proud to say i work here.
this is your nun on the scene join us next time when we reveal the ten most wanted women of the X
