....Is what I see as he walks away when I closed me eyes tonight. ...
We cleaned out some things to move tonight..me and Joanne. She held some of his things in her hand and said "If you hold on to these it doesn't mean he is coming back..."
Things getting so stirred up in me. Going through the past opened up the wounds that I once had thought were closed and sealed.
We opened the bag and threw out his things. A black bag. With the begining of me just disposing of so many things of unimportance this evening, I found myself standing in the pouring rain, holding that black bag of his things, dropping them off at the Church for the Thrift store donations.
I had to let it go. Never will this person fill the space in my heart again.
So many ghosts from the past have been haunting me recently. Others running or just drifting away.
I thought I would be free from these emotions at this time in my life but I am seeing no matter how old I get, my heart still aches.
Honesty is what I run on but know I need to put on the mask and act like everyone else....Cold, hard, unfeeling, selfish...It is a hard concept but I guess I should suck it up..my emotions will go back in the void where they have been...
