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BillSeigor's blog: "BlogStuff"

created on 03/15/2007  |  http://fubar.com/blogstuff/b64964

The Awakening

I wished I knew who wrote this. How very true!! The Awakening A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your Awakening. You realize that its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You learn that others may follow you and will share your expectations, but they will also be faced with the same realizations. You come to terms with the fact that he/she is not Prince/Princess Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you or didn't do for you and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have brought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry. And you begin to realize that some people, no matter what you do for them, how you treat them, or how much you care for them, will never be able to accept or realize the great gift they have been given. Then you learn about love, Romantic love and familiar love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman by your side. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....that it is your right to want things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn to call upon your Faith.You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison all that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in those that can see your worth and refuse to take you for granted. You begin to understand that people you value do not always value you and you must move forward with those that do. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you make a promise to never betray yourself and to never settle for less that your heart's desire. You learn to see your worth and embrace it. You learn that there are times when your life feels broken and shattered, but this is God's Will. You learn that God who created you has a plan, one that you may never understand, but he is the only one who can put the pieces back together again. So you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can, to live.
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