Well here I sit reading blogs about how people are spending their Thanksgivings and where they are going or not going and a thought occurs to me that maybe I should share what I'm doing.
The holidays have become a little different for me now that my parents have died. I was planning on just having dinner with me and my children since,I didn't really have anywhere to be until my brother called yesterday.
I had wanted to invite him, his wife and son over because I knew he just had major back surgery but I just didn't know how to ask. Now, that statement may seem strange to some people so let me try to explain things.
First of all, my dad comes from a huge family and my grandpa used to demand that the family show up at gatherings. Whether it be for a family reunion with the extended family that immigrated here from Germany after Texas became The Republic of Texas or just his kids at Christmas time.
After my uncle and my grandfather's death (both were 4 months apart)in 1978, the family just sort of fell apart and each of his 8 kids just lived so far apart that we mostly spent the holidays within our own families as some of his older children didn't like Alma their step mother.
We did spend some time with my dad's half sister a lot but now she has moved away from here and really the only family that I'm somewhat close to is my brother.
My mom was from El Paso, Texas. With Texas as being as large as it is, it's still 857 miles traveling I-10 entering on the east side from Louisiana all the way to the west exit in El Paso. Needless to say, we didn't travel up there often and had not seen or heard from any of them for 17 years before my mom died and haven't heard from them again coming up on 5 years.
There was many other numerous reasons why her side of the family isn't as closely bonded with us as other families are. Some of those reasons still remain a mystery to me while others are not reasons that I care to discuss at this moment.
Mostly, I just want to say to those people in cyberspace that are dreading being with you family because of your differences or whatever, be glad that you do have a family to give you a headache and cause you stress.
I want you to look at whatever problems you have had within your family and decide whether it's really going to matter on your death bed if this matter is dealt with or not. The decisions you make today will effect your family long term.
My parents were divorced in the 80s over my dad becoming an alcoholic and not dealing with his brother and father's death in a healthy way.
I want you to think about all that I wrote in this blog and decide if you want your own children to sit by themselves on a holiday like me or you want them to know their family on both sides including your ex's family.
OR here's a totally different option all together. You deny all of your family as if they never existed and start new traditions and bring about a new type of family that consists of good friends. These people have found themselves alone as well and share in finding others to bring to the "family". This is what I'm striving to do for Christmas.
It is my goal to gather anyone who really has no family here in Houston or anywhere else for that matter and bring them to my table. I'm not saying that I'm going out to find homeless folks off the street because these people have chosen to shun their own family or use and abuse them or they would be with them.
Oh yes, I do know their stories so please don't look down on me for saying that as I did stop every day last year and talk to a group of homeless men. That's a whole other blog.
I just feel like there are more people out there like me that have just found themselves without a family or just wanting a place to belong. If this is the type of person you are, drop me a line.
