I have been inspired by recent reactions to one of my recent blogs. Okay, really I just like to hear myself talk (or write as the case may be) and honestly I was going to write some of this but thought it might drag on too long. Here are some of the stuff that does not make the news.
First of all you need to see the Taliban as I see them. Looking at past enemies they are benchwarmers. During the Vietnam War the enemy was well organized, well supplied, and highly dedicated. The Tet Offensive, while a tactical failure, was a very well coordinated, well planned action. It took massive communication, coordination, and most importantly, secrecy. You had tens of thousands of Viet Cong maneuvering into position prior to the Tet holiday and attack, multiple bases without alerting the US to the large scale attacks. Obviously there were indicators, but not enough so it was still a surprise.
So here is how I see the Taliban, in my eyes they are like junior high bullies. The bullies at one school do not talk to the bullies at another school, so if you go from school to school they don’t have a consistent message. One bully just picks on smaller kids, another just beats up kids for lunch money, and another just smokes in the bathroom and picks on kids who come in. That is how I see the bad guys here.
You see the Taliban are basically just guys with guns. There are a few that have leadership, and supplies, but most of them don’t. The Taliban are an all male organization, and men have pride. In American you can do a number of things to be important. You can play sports, make movies, play music, and there are things that can make you important at a local level without being famous, like make the best martini in town, win all the local karaoke contests, or get the most comments on Cherry Tap. In Afghanistan they do not have those options. The only way to feel strong, powerful or important is to get an AK-47, grab a couple buddies and go terrorize other people.
Let’s talk tactics. The current lot of Talibitches (it’s a new word) are not the bad ass mofos that kicked some serious Russian ass. The best fighters either fight on our side, or are already dead. At this point you had better not talk trash about Afghans. I know a local who fought the Russians, fought the Taliban, in fact he was one of the fighters who helped us take the last stronghold of the Taliban. He loves the Coalition, especially Americans. He also loves his country and wants a better life for his people. If he was not on our side, we would be screwed. So some of the best people in this country, are on our side.
The terrain can be quite restrictive especially in the middle of the country with all the mountains. They were quite good at ambushing. In fact there is a pass that you have to drive through to get from one area to another, one time 88 armored Russians vehicles went in, none came out. They used to have the tactics. Now, we hand them their ass. Seems the junior high bullies aren’t ready for the big time.
I was on a camp in the south when I was working as a contractor and heard gunfire one night. There were a number of things wrong with that. We were too close to a major military base, US military drives armored vehicles, they are armed with big guns on top, the attacking force did not have anything that could penetrate armor, since they were close to a US base choppers could be in the air in seconds, and they attacked at NIGHT!!!
We own the night, we have night vision on all our shit. You don’t attack the US at night, unless you really want your whole night ruined. Here is your crash course in ambush, there is an area they call the “kill zone” it is called that because once you initiate the ambush, everything in the kill zone is dead. When I was a grunt they used to teach us that if you are in the kill zone to rush the ambush. You are dead no matter what you do, so might as well take some with you, it is crazy enough that it might just fucking work.
I know of well placed enemy ambushes where they couldn’t even hurt the people they were ambushing. I mean that no one even bumped their head while getting out of the vehicle. If you ambush someone and can’t even hurt the people you ambush, you need to get out of the ambushing business. And my man helped them with that.
We have satellites, all kinds of cool planes and electronic stuff, plus people on the ground. We can gather intel all kinds of fun ways. How do the Taliban do it? They watch CNN and act off that. The news loves to blab all our movements, and the current crop of bad guys are pretty media savvy.
But truth be told, I could take any five jokers off the street and if I had a few weeks to train them I could do more damage in a day than the Taliban do in an entire month. And I am not even that bad ass. You get some people with some cool schools and tabs and they could do even better. Seriously, me a Marine and a bunch of people with no training and I could run a better war than the Talibitches.
The only thing that works in their favor is that they recruit more. If I blindfolded you, put you on the 50 yard line and had ten people stand on random spots around the field. With enough tennis balls eventually you would hit somebody. And that is pretty much the Taliban strategy, throw enough “martyrs” at the infidels and odds are you will get someone some of the time.
So to wrap it up, I don’t take the Taliban that seriously. (and neither should you) I don’t let my guard because one of them could get lucky. Luck is the thing you can’t count on. However fortune favors the prepared mind and my mind is prepared. If the situation arises and they are lucky, I might have a problem, but if it is skill on skill I am going to ruin their whole day.
