To Suffer A Smile
All the days I have lived, I have worked towards one goal, to be loved and cherished by everyone, to know when I leave this peril called life, I will be remembered well.
Is this truly important? Should be placed so high on my list, maybe not, but from the day I spoke my first word, I have wanted to make people smile, to make others happy, or to see I have some purpose.
Day by day, I wear the scars of my past pain on my face, in the form of a frown. I wonder if anyone is ever happy, I mock their gleeful laughter and happy grins, saying no one can ever honestly feel that good.
Is it I am jealous that I can't smile like them? I can't forget all the sorrow in the world and be selfishly spoiled. Me feeling the burden of social injustice, guilty because of a smile. As if a upturned lip could make any difference, a sanctuary in a world of chaos.
I have cried for lost souls that have once smiled, hoping the tears I have shed, are heard by them wherever they are now. Wanting to make a change, but I lack the will and strength to help. I cannot push myself hard enough. By that I feel I add to everyone's pain. Suffering because I can't stop their suffering..... to be continued......
